Man listen, nobody loves Lana Del Rey more than I do. I thought her last album, Born To Die, was the best album of 2012. In my eyes, Lana is the G.O.A.T. But a lot of people don't see her the way I do.
They point to that god awful SNL performance where she sang 6 octaves too low. Or something like that. And she just kinda stood there. I mean, the performance wasn't anything to re-watch ever again, but it wasn't the worst thing in the history of ever, ya know?
But anyway, Lana Del Rey has taken a good year and a half to herself to basically do nothing (she did drop that gem "Young and Beautiful"). Then a few months ago she announced she was dropping a little passion project she's been working on, the short film Tropico. Now nobody really knew what to expect because the picture for the film was her and an albino fellow wearing leaf underwear. But Lana has always been great when it comes to videos/monologues (see: the last 2 minutes of the "National Anthem" video). So naturally we were expecting a lot, right?
She dropped the trailer for it a week or so ago and the world went bonkers. We were like "This could be like that 'Runaway' short film Kanyeezus dropped a few years ago, except this one might actually be good." I mean, the trailer showed us a video full of strippers, guns, religious undertones, and death. Basically this was going to be the greatest thing ever.
Tropico dropped today at 11 AM on Vevo (I think Vevo is stupid and artists really need to leave that behind). I settle in to watch the most beautiful woman on the face of this planet bless me with her artistic creativity for 30 minutes. So without further adieu I present:
The Tropico Review
So this thing starts off in the Garden of Eden, Lana as Eve and Shaun Ross (you all might recognize him from that "E.T." video with Katy Perry which I didn't know about until I looked him up on Google) as Adam. Lana is praying to John Wayne, who is accompanied by Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and Jesus because when you're a hipster, things don't really have to make sense. But I guess it kinda follows up with the theme of "Body Electric".
While Lana sings "Body Electric," she and Ross dance like an awkward couple at a dance club. Actually, they dance like this:
But anyway, so we move past the horrible dancing. Lana then goes to eat the forbidden apple and Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, and Elvis have a conniption fit because this all is bound to make sense soon, right?
So we pick up with Lana stripping and Ross working at a convenience store. Lana starts her little narrative here where she really just says a bunch of words and expects us to know what it all means. Like she's saying a lot of things, but she isn't really saying anything.
The whole video treads along like this, with intermittent cuts of her songs. She sings "Gods and Monsters" and "Bel-Air". Lana's boyfriend has a freakout at his convenience store (you never find out why), they (maybe) rob a group of guys getting lapdances, Lana strips, Lana says a bunch of words, and then they dance in a cornfield and float into the air.
Maybe I just didn't get it, but this video was stupid. Like it didn't make any sense. I was expecting a lot more from Lana, but I'm sure all these random shots of her drinking soda out of a 2 liter makes sense to philosophy majors. I guess there was some symbolism; like their life begins perfect, then after Lana eats the apple their lives are terrible and full of sin, and then by the end after stripping and robbing people they are free of sin and can float in the sky. Or something like that.
I just don't really understand how robbing people cleanses you of sin? Like, how can you hold a gun to someone's head and then float into the sky to meet John Wayne?
Oh yeah, Lana also announced her new album is called Ultraviolence. Woooo!!!!!
Final Score: 1/5
