Long.Live.ASAP Review

Don't worry, I haven't abandoned The Walking Dead reviews, nothing has reealllly happened these last few episodes leading up to the mid season finale, so I'll be lumping all 3 episodes together. But anyway, as a part of the Throwback Reviews, I decided to pull out one of my favorite albums of 2013, Long.Live.ASAP.

I first heard of A$AP a few years ago when he dropped the EXCELLENT LiveLoveASAP. He really did drop the hardest mixtape of the last few years. Then we saw Rocky again in the even better "National Anthem" video with the beautiful Lana Del Rey as the star crossed couple, JFK and Jackie. The video was great, that's actually Lana's strong point.

As we all know, ASAP wears dresses and other questionable things, but we let him off the hook with all that because he makes dope music. Now if we saw someone like J. Cole wearing a dress, or Drake, then we'd have some problems. But ASAP is cool so leave him alone.

Anyway, this brings us to Long.Live.ASAP, the anticipated debut from the new king of Harlem. Does it live up to the hype (yup), but if you haven't taken the time to peep it (or buy it), then I'll go ahead and lay out the blueprint for you for what's dope about the album and what you can absolutely skip.

Without further adieu, I present the:

LONG.LIVE.ASAP REVIEW

1. Long Live A$AP

Right off the bat, ASAP drops some flames on us. The beat is fire, the lyrics are whatever, but the flow is great. The video is great too, but the chorus is an acquired taste. ASAP can't exactly sing at all, but after about 7 listens you start confusing him with Michael Bolton. I love this song.

2. Goldie

wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! This song is pure greatness. In 2013, male rappers suffer from a masculinity problem, but this song is raw grits. Now don't think ASAP is on here dropping jewels by any means, he's actually super simple, but he manages to keep a consistent flow (looking at you Em and Jay Z), which goes along with the song perfectly. Think of Rocky like Aaron Rodgers, he's able to hide how bad his team is by being entertaining and being the best out there. Rocky's lyrics are so-so but he's able to hide it with a crazy beautiful beat and an impressive flow.

3. PMW (Feat. ScHoolboy Q)

I don't think there are two rappers who perfectly feed off of each other the way ScHoolboy and ASAP do. If you heard "Brand New Guy" by these two then you'd know you don't have to hear this song to know it is nothing short of greatness. Had anyone else in the "new school" rappers done this concept we would've ended up with something like, oh I don't know, "Every Girl" by YMCMBSELLOUT.

4. LVL

Clams Casino alert!!! If you don't know who that is then just go back and listen to LiveLoveASAP. This song is really peaceful, beautiful, simple, complex, just something to lay back to and chill. You don't have any worries when you listen to something like this. Again, Rocky isn't saying anything that's gonna make you rewind the song, but like "Bound 2", this is just meant to be enjoyed.

5. Hell (Feat. Santigold)

It sounds exactly like "LVL", but that's okay. ASAP has always been about making chill beats/songs and this is again just meant to be enjoyed. Rocky does step his lyric game up a tad, but don't even focus on that. Focus on the SONG, let it soothe you. Let Santigold kill that hook, let the production team relax you after a long day. Treat yo self.

6. Pain (Feat. OverDoz)

Bleeeeeehhhhhhhhh. Sounds like "LVL" and "Hell", so you could probably skip it if you're getting TOO relaxed. Like, it's an all right song, but it's the most mediocre thing so far on the album. It isn't a terrible song by any means, but you'll live without ever hearing it again.

7. F**kin' Problems (Feat. Every Lame Rapper Except Kendrick Lamar)

Everyone and their momma knows about this song. And it's actually pretty good. Even with that trash hook by 2 Chainzzzz, who still doesn't care about setting the rap game back about 20 years. 2 Chainz is trash. Then we move on to Rocky's verse where he again chooses style over substance, which is what this whole song basically is. I'm not mad at Rocky, but he was in cruise control for this one. Then we arrive at Drizzy Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake. Who raps like thiiiiiiiiiiiiis, and thaaaaaaaaaaat andsometimesthrowsinsomethingeeeeellllssseeeeee. He talks about the staaaaaaaaars and maybe dissed Rhiaaaaannnaaaaaaaaa and weeeeeeeeed and the Beeeaaaaatlllleeesssss. And then he gets kindaaaaa gaaaaaaangstaaaaaa and then talks about his diiiiiiicccckkkkk. So then we arrive at Kendrick Lamar, and if you've seen the video, he wears the same exact thing as Rocky. I mean, it's whatever. He spit the best verse, so I'm not mad about it. See, when you can make good songs that don't suck, then you can get away with a lot of things.

8. Wild For The Night (Feat. Skrillex)

Yaaaahhhhh!!!!!! At first I was wondering what this monstrosity was that I was listening, and then I listened to it 12 more times and it's one of my favorite cuts on the album. When I first saw the tracklist and saw Skrillex's Hot Topic ass on there I was like, nooooooooo I'm not reeeaaaaddyyyy. But then he blessed us with a beautiful beat that sounds like Storm Troopers shooting at Luke and Han.

9. 1 Train (Feat. Kendrick Lamar, Joey BadA$$, Yelawolf, Danny Brown, Action Bronson, Not Drake, Big K.R.I.T.)

This was the song everyone was excited about. And I'm here to tell you this was the second mediocre track on the album. Like it isn't a bad song, but it isn't the monster we all thought it had the potential to be. ASAP spit a so so verse, I skip Joey BadA$$ every chance I can get, Yelawolf was just OKAY, not like he was spitting anything that made me wanna buy any of his music ever. So then we arrive at Danny Brown. I don't all the way co-sign him, but he did bring it on this track. Action Bronson spit the best verse and Big K.R.I.T. still refuses to capture what made his first mixtape so special. I don't know, it feels like there could have been a better roster for this track, like replace Yelawolf, K.R.I.T., and Joey BadA$$ with Run The Jewels. Also the beat is meeeeehhhhhhhh at best.

10. Fashion Killa

This song sounds like that one scene in every movie when the ugly girl and popular guy go to the mall to buy her some clothes. And the guy sits in a chair while the girl comes out in like 4 humorously ugly outfits that the guys keeps shaking his head "no" to. And then when he's tired of her trying on clothes she comes out in THE outfit that's going to make her a star. But you could skip this song and not miss anything.

11. Phoenix

The video is trash but the song is actually really great. Probably one of my favorites on the album. The beat is elegant, and ASAP doesn't do what all of his peers do, which is become emotionally naked and wounded. No, Rocky decides to retain his masculinity. This song had the potential to fly off the rails and become a J.Cole/Drake knockoff song, but ASAP brought it.

"If I shall ever fall Lord pick me up, ever since a baby two deuce in sippy cups, ever since my diapers and my zip-me-ups, now I'm walking on my own and ya'll wish me luck"

12. Suddenly

ASAP gets back to relaxing you with a chill beat. He paints a scene about growing up in New York and you're just kinda like "this song is good, but I'm about to fall asleep"....but then...man.

13. Jodeye

This song wasn't intentionally supposed to put you asleep, but it does. Zzzzzzzzz.

14. Ghetto Symphony (Feat. Gunplay and The Guy in the A$AP Mob Who Can't Rap)

Woooooo, we're back! I do love this song a lot, but you can definitely skip it after Gunplay spits. The songs goes along steadily until you get to ASAP Ferg. Man ASAP Ferg sucks. He also said he's gonna "gonna kill em like Big Boi" but he raps like he's stupid.

15. Angels

Now THIS song is a problem. If "Goldie" didn't exist, this would be the best song on the album. Maaaaaaaaaaaan this beat is beautiful and ASAP actually kinda kills it. Also the music video is terrific. This really should've been the closing song on the album, but beggars can't be choosers ya know? But I definitely recommend that you listen to this song because it's one of my favorites of 2013.

16. Like I'm Apart (Feat. Florence Welch)

Turn on the radio and you can hear about 234823049024 versions of this song. This really shouldn't have been as generic as it ended up being. Weak way to close out the album but all the glitter's can't be gold every time, right?

So there we have it. Is it better than the LiveLoveA$AP mixtape? Not really, but I do enjoy this album more. Rocky didn't do any lyrical backflips on this, but he maintained a consistency throughout the album that a lot of artists lack in this day in age. A lot of albums have about 4 fire joints, 2 really good joints, 1 "I could listen to this again some day" joint, and 8 filler joints. This album only had 4 moments of ehhhhhh to me, but even those songs weren't awful, they just didn't appeal to me personally.

Final Score: 4.5/5

The Walking Dead: Internment Review (and character rankings)

We had a nice little episode here of the plague that was wiping out the prison. The thing that really stuck out to me about this episode was the rise of Hershel. Hershel was like Obi-Wan in A New Hope where he doesn't do anything for 99.9999999% of the movie and then he ups and fights the most evil human in the galaxy. Hershel hasn't done anything but be a guiding hand and in this episode he finally decided to cure the sick and fight a few walkers with his bare hands.

Hershel was fixated on saving everyone this week and keeping their spirits up, even as he was losing himself. Think of Hershel as "Not Carol". Speaking of Carol, her hot streak finally ended (she was banished) this week. It was a sad week indeed, but a lot happened, and the walls of the prison are crumbling and the plague is wiping people out left and right (I assume it'll be fixed next week).

Also, can we talk about how NOBODY cared that my baby Carol was banished? Rick took one of the most beloved people within the group out on a drive and came back without her. When they asked Rick simply put on his sunglasses and said "It is what it is." But poor Daryl hasn't found out yet, so I assume we're going to have to see him get his heart broken for the second time on the series. :(

Also, THE RETURN OF THE GOOOOVERNOR!!! I have no clue what he's done for the past few months, but he's back and looking to raise hell!!!!

Not it is time for:

THE WALKING CHARACTER RANKINGS

1. Daryl Dixon (last week: 1)

Literally was in this episode for 5 seconds, but he had to great lines where he got to say "sumbitch" and he brought medicine. Hero!

2. Hershel Greene (last week: not ranked)

He got his faith back, he saved poor Glenn, he fought zombies with his bare hands, and he stuck a few ice picks through some skulls. "Not Carol" is doing just fine in a post-Carol world.

3. Rick Grimes (last week: 4)

He came back and said "Carol's gone" and nobody questioned it. Only Rick could get away with something like that. He also has to break the news to Daryl about Carol next week, and that can't be easy. Also, he let Carl sleep in. I rest my case.

4. Carl Grimes (last week: not ranked)

We're all still waiting for him to die, but he handled that zombie hoard pretty well. Are we taking over/under bets on Carl becoming a future serial killer yet??? He would've been ranked about poppa bear but that hat he still wears is STOOPID.

5. Maggie Greene (Rhee?) (last week: not ranked)

Maggie looked soooooOOoooo beautiful this week. Her hair is longer and she looks like she could kill someone with her knuckles. I looooooooove Maggie. <3

6. Lizzie (last week: not ranked)

I hate her but there were literally like 4 characters who did anything this episode.

7. Sasha (last week: not ranked)

She helped a little bit but she mostly felt like death the whole episode and that hindered her.

8. Hershel's Faith (last week: not ranked)

It's back!!!

9. Caleb (last week: not ranked)

He cried blood and told Hershel that he can't save everyone. Then he became a zombie. He didn't do much except state the obvious and die, but he was a minor role player that we at least knew the name of. So here's your send off Caleb.

10. THE GOVERNOR (last week: been dying to be ranked)

The Governor is BACK! After frolicking in the woods with his two friends all summer, The Governor is back and ready for revenge because he doesn't have anything else to do. The way he stared at the prison amongst the leaves of poison ivy was great.

Not Ranked:

Michonne
Bob Stoopid
Carol :(
Tyreese
Rick's Hair
Carl's Hat
The Governor's Eyepatch
Maggie's Aim
Maggie's Body Armor
Glenn

So there we have it. The episode started off boring as all get out, but as the time passed it geared up and became pretty anxiety inducing, mostly with Glenn laying there dying. I don't know who's gonna go next, but I'm liking Glenn's odds A LOT.

Final Score: 4/5

The Walking Dead: Indifference Review (and character rankings)

Wooooo!! This was probably the best episode of the season. It's no coincidence that the best episode happened far away from the prison, where The Walking Dead gets back to its season 1 roots of surviving in the wilderness. Whenever select members of the group venture out past their established base, the episode is usually a great one. It happened in season 2 when Rick and Shane were taking Randall out and it happened in season 3 when they went to rescue Glenn and Maggie. And it has happened again.

I won't get too much into the recap because you've probably already watched it, but I did like the Rick and Carol dynamic in this episode. Especially how different they were when they ran across Ana and the guy who looked like Devon Sawa in the "Stan" music video. So we'll call them Ana and Stan. The way Rick and Carol have evolved was on full display when deciding what to do with these two.

So let's move on to the character rankings because there's not much that can be said about this episode that I can't say here:

THE WALKING POWER RANKINGS

1. Daryl Dixon (last week: 1)

Come on...are you really shocked? He spun a rock between his fingers half the time and still accomplished the most. He calmed Bob Stoopid down with his patented "Daryl Touch" and had a few sweet zombie kills along the way and still managed to find the time to fix a car. Listen man, despite what you may think, Daryl is in the driver's seat for the MVP award this season.

2. Carol Peletier (last week: 2)

Woooo!! Carol has been on a hot streak the past 3 episodes and it doesn't look like she will be cooling down anytime soon. Speaking of cooling down, Carol is still cold blooded. She told little Lizzy to shut up and accept life and don't ever call her "mom", then popped a shoulder back in place, knifed Tyreese's girl (it was a flashback, but still), and then bounced at the end. I love it and you should too. She's making executive decisions and I am building 5 new rows of seats for the Carol bandwagon.

3. Michonne (last week: 6)

She didn't do much last week but she brought it this week. She had the best zombie kills and she finally gave up on her search for The Governor. That was real mature of her to let go of the last thing she really had to care about and I respect it.

4. Rick Grimes (last week: 3)

He was right about the Ana and Stan situation and he told Carol that she sucked so I was with it this week. Rick was scouting out Carol this episode and realized she really is cold blooded. She's no longer the flimsy woman who was being beating by Chris Brown her husband for merely breathing. Rick banished her pretty much and I have to give major props to him for finally breaking out of his Pepperidge Farm attitude and becoming the boss man again.

5. Tyreese (last week: 4)

Tyreeeeeese. Ever since his girl died he decided to wake up and become a man. I mean, he pulled a zombie to him, something that hasn't been done on this show before. He PULLED it towards himself so he could bash its brains in. How can you not love Sad Tyreese?

6. Ana (last week: not ranked)

She was pretty hot, but her leg was broken off and that was the end of that.

7. Stan (last week: not ranked)

He was weird, stupid, and disappeared at the end. But he was dating Ana and probably ditched her when he saw the zombies so I can dig it.

8. Bob Stookey (last week: 7)

This dude either sucks or is tolerable. And this week he sucked. Hey, Bob, SHUT UP.

9. Bob Stoopid's Drinking Problem (last week: not ranked)

Bob almost died for his stash and almost killed Daryl. This is going to be an interesting thing to keep an eye on throughout the season.

10. Rick Grimes' Hair

It looked really fluffy and shiny. Weird considering they aren't really using any hair care products are they?

Not Ranked:

Everyone at the prison
Sasha
Lizzy
Carol's Heart
Carl's Comics
Good Kush and Alcohooool
The Glorified Cold
The Zombie That Looked Like Hershel

So there it is, this was a solid episode that showcased the evolution these characters have undergone since the first season. The war is no longer with the zombies, it's within themselves now. And I like it!

Final Score: 5/5