Breaking Bad Review. Saying Goodbye.

It's over. The greatest show in the history of television is over. Usually when shows end, it's a bittersweet moment because they have usually run their course and stayed on for 3 years too long (King of the Hill, Dexter, Family Guy, How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, 30 Rock and many more). Or sometimes, the finale ruins the journey it took to get there (The Sopranos, Dexter, Lost, Seinfeld).

Breaking Bad is so noble and commendable because it didn't overstay its welcome and it gave an ending that made the journey worth it. Of course, the show really ended in "Ozymandias", the final two episodes were more of an epilogue. The downward spiral Walt took from nerdy, lame chemistry teacher working two jobs to a drug emperor was a satisfying one that never had a misstep. Every move was carefully calculated and never dull. Every episode was a domino effect to the finale. There's nothing worse than when a finale doesn't justify the means it took to get there, like when The Sopranos blacked out and left you to make your own ending. We don't spend 60 hours with these characters and watch them grow and develop, to be ripped off in the end, leaving story-lines open.

It should be noted that I did not start watching Breaking Bad until about a month ago. I avoided it for so long because everyone kept saying it was so great, and when someone says that, I wind up disappointed (case in point: The Wire). I finally watched it on Netflix. I was nervous because I am absolutely petrified of cancer and this was what the show revolved around. Needless to say, after a season, the cancer backstory is pretty much gone. It becomes a rabbit hole into the depths of a man we thought was a good person. I tore through 5 seasons in about 3 weeks and caught up a little bit after the mid season break. I'm actually glad I did that because I was able to continue the story from beginning to end without the year long breaks in between.

So, about that finale. (Spoilers ahead)

Walt is near death. He's shriveled up, alone, isolated, and reduced to coughing fits. This is not the man we met in the first season who just wanted to make $700,000 to provide for his family. Walt decides to come back to Albuquerque to handle some "unfinished business". He comes back first for the Grey Matter snakes. I thought for sure he was going to kill them, but he just left them money to give to his son, which has been the recurring justification Walt has used the whole series. He told them he would have hitmen following them if something were to happen to the money. The hitmen? Skinny Pete and Badger. I loved that. It was a very nice callback to two people I honestly forgot existed because of how tense this show has gotten.

So Walt then goes to use the ricin he saved on Lydia, who was distributing his product without his permission/him not getting any profit. This was a predictable, yet VERY effective move by Vince Gilligan once we realized how horrific it was going to be when Walt let her know she was going to dies soon. He speaks to Mother Effing Todd about a new formula for making meth and they decide to meet up at the Nazi hideout.

Before he does that, Walt heads to Skyler's house for one last meeting. While there, Marie calls Skyler to tell her the cops found a car Walt stole in the parking lot of Denny's. Whatever, they needed to wrap up the Marie storyline after they sorta mismanaged it in the last episode by having her show up for a solid 3 seconds. But while talking to Skyler for the first time, Walt was finally self aware and was honest for the FIRST time in the series. He didn't do all this for his family, this was for him. Man. And it was true. This stopped being about securing his family's future, Walt had fun being the best at what he does. This was never about money, this was about being spurned by Grey Matter and never getting the credit/recognition he thought he deserved.

There's only one thing left for Walt to do. Free Jesse and kill the Nazis. He creates a device to kill the Nazis (kudos to Vince Gilligan for not making this a cliche ending. There were so many theories on the internet and I don't think any of them predicted the way Jesse would be saved). One thing leads to another and it ends in a final showdown with Jesse and Walt (Jesse kills Ox Landry Mother Effing Todd and it was GLORIOUS. Perfectly executed. I hated Mother Effing Todd). Their relationship is the heart of the show. Walt has always loved Jesse like a son. He wants Jesse to kill him, but if you remember, a few episodes ago Jesse told Walt on the phone that he would never do what he tells him to do ever again. Long Hair Jesse throws the gun down and walks away. It's revealed that Walt's own device used to kill the Nazis actually ended up hitting him by accident while he was saving Jesse.

Jesse drives off to his future, while Walt walks into the meth lab the Nazis built. He looks at it all and smiles, he has finally done the right thing. Cooking meth was his baby, it was what gave him purpose in life. And finally, as the cops pull in, Walt takes his final breath.

This was such an effective ending and one that tied up all of the possible loose ends. So where do we go from here? The wait to The Walking Dead isn't that far off, but after indulging myself this past month in Breaking Bad, how am I even supposed to enjoy that show? I mean, we have The Walking Dead and Bates Motel, and a few other semi forgettable dramas, but there's nothing currently out that captivates us the way Breaking Bad has. This show was more pure than the meth Walter cooked. I'm saddened that it's over, but I'm extremely grateful that it went out on top. It never started teetering (Mad Men is currently losing its steam at an alarming rate) and it never veered off into uninteresting territory. We spent so much time rooting for the greatest antihero of all time in Walter White. Then we hated him. And then we were fine with him dying. Has a show ever effectively turned us against its hero and then brought us back to a place where we were happy he died but saddened at the same time?

As with all my reviews, I like to leave a cast report card, and there were very little blemishes if any.

Bryan Cranston: A+

Did you expect anything less? He has given his all these last few episodes and really nailed it as a defeated man who knew he was going to die. The Heisenberg we have grown to know and love is a shriveled up old man who can barely make it without coughing. It's so funny that the dorky dad from Malcolm in the Middle has turned in the greatest acting performance we are EVER going to see in our lifetimes.

Aaron Paul: A

Man. He was really underused in this episode and didn't really wow me with anything, but when Andrea died last week and you saw the face of a man with nothing left...wow. Aaron Paul is a very good young actor who will probably never be able to shake Jesse Pinkman. Although, he may be able to keep a decent career going with Need For Speed. The trailer surprisingly looks good, but I believe Paul works better as a supporting actor.

Anna Gunn: A+

She had one scene and she absolutely nailed it. I was on the "I Hate Skyler" bandwagon for a good chunk of the series but the last few episodes have really changed my outlook on her. She recently won an Emmy for her portrayal of Skyler White and that was much deserved. Although Cranston and Paul were totally screwed. But Gunn's lone scene with Cranston, how small she was and you could see she was a shell of her former self. It was a very vulnerable moment in a very sad scene.

RJ Mitte's Wardrobe: A++++

Timbs. Enough said.

Jesse Plemons: A

Mother Effing Todd. He has become a very intriguing villain, a horrifying emotionless killer, a sweet and sensitive guy. Jesse Plemons played the scariest villain I have seen in a while. But going forward, is he Landry, Ox, or Mother Effing Todd? I'm fine with either.

Matt Jones and Charles Baker: A- 

I mean, they were in this episode for 5 seconds. Charles Baker is always great as Skinny P, but Matt Jones was always average as Badger. Alone they were fine, but together they were a comic duo. They are the comic relief glue that held the show together.

Laura Fraser: B-

I've never been that crazy about her portrayal as Lydia. It always seemed...wooden. Even when she found out she had a day or so to live, she didn't sell it to me. She does an adequate job and even shows flashes of really good acting, but the overall product is about like the meth she was distributing before they made Jesse a slave cook (slightly above average).

Nazis: A-

The most interesting one was the guy from WHITE HOUSE DOWN. He's a pretty good villain and I can see him forever being typecast as a stereotypical villain. The Nazis as a whole were pretty solid, but there were too many silent ones for me to be able to give them the full A+.

I'm happy with the way it ended, and this is the first time a series finale has 100% satisfied me. In the future, television producers and writers should use Breaking Bad as a blueprint for the perfect TV show. It's all a constant continuity, never skipping ahead in time. It was one big story that started at A and ended at Z. From the bottom of my heart, I thank Vince Gilligan and the cast and crew of Breaking Bad. This is the first time a show has gotten it completely right.

This one is for you guys and Walt Jr., who will be able to eat breakfast comfortably for the rest of his life.

Final Score: 5/5

Don Jon Review

So I saw this tonight. I walked in the movie theater, purchased my ticket. I'm wearing my new NILBOG hoodie (It's from Troll 2 in case you were wondering) and I'm pretty excited to see Don Jon. I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt, even though he throws a temper tantrum in every. Single. Movie. But that's neither here nor there.

So I walk up to give the man my ticket and he asks me for my ID. I'm a regular there. My date is a regular there. This guy has made me show ID before. But what if I don't have my ID? Tickets are non refundable. I look decently over 21, and I told the man that even if my date wasn't over 17 (she is) then that's okay because I am. The rule says that "under 17 needs to be accompanied by an adult or guardian, and an adult means someone 21 and over." Hai I'm 21. So we gotta get clearance for the second time to let us into the movie. So I was in a sour mood. I'm mad. This movie can salvage that, right? Right?

Why was that story set up important? Because it sets in motion the domino effect of tonight. I should have known from the time I walked into the theater, that the worst was yet to come...

So the movie starts off pretty funny. JGL has a funny accent and he nails down the way douchebags act in real life. He watches a lot of porn and makes some pretty accurate assessments about sex and relationships. He meets Scarlett Johansson and she nails the trashy girl accent down PAT. So they begin a really bizarre relationship where she doesn't let him have sex and he watches a lot of porn. She makes him change and stop watching porn. He doesn't want to stop watching porn so he keeps on watching porn. She gets mad, he keeps watching porn. He realizes the error of his ways with 10 minutes left of the movie and kinda sorta stops watching porn.

The movie is a never-ending loop of the same scenes over and over. It's like a less disturbing Requiem For a Dream. Throughout the movie you get to see Don Jon's family. His dad, Tony Danza, is high strung and douchey. He played the role really well but my patience was THIN. His mom got on my nerves and his sister did the cliche "character doesn't say a word the whole movie and in the end she finally speaks and it is the most thoughtful comment and ends up changing the way the character thinks". Basically she was the dad from Along Came Polly.

The movie was pretty boring, the characters weren't likable or relatable unless you plan all year for Spring Break at Panama City Beach. I get that this was a social satire about sex in America, and how we've lost the meaning of it, but it doesn't exactly resonate that well with the audience. After about 45 minutes you're just kinda like "we get it", and there's nothing more to the movie. It's a shallow movie that pretends to be deep. BUT, for JGL's first time directing/writing, he actually did a pretty good job, which boosts the final score a little bit. It was a "Theory Movie" (term credited to one of my friends) which basically means that a movie is good in theory, like it has all the makings of a good movie and a really solid story, but for whatever reason just ends up being really bad.

Now that I've trashed the movie enough, let's move on to the bright spots: The Performances.

Joseph Gordon Levitt: A+

He is such a talented actor. Seriously, everything he does is so great. But he always throws a tantrum in every single movie, which is kinda like his "thing", but I wish he'd stop. I always respected JGL for not selling his career out and becoming an indie darling in the same mold as Jake Gyllenhaal. JGL will probably never get the respect/praise he truly deserves, especially when you consider how dedicated he is to his craft, but then again, does he really want it? He's an ambitious actor and director, and although the movie itself was really bad, his directing/writing/acting was really good. It just doesn't always click (the 81% on Rotten Tomatoes says otherwise though).

Scarlett Johansson: A+

Reallllllyyyyyy enjoyed her performance. She played trashy to a T. What a lot of people don't realize about her is that she is an amazingly great actress. Most people look at her and see that she's really hot (I would cry if she gave me a chance) but she's such a solid actress. In this movie she really transforms from Hot Scarlett to I Would But Never Tell Anyone About It Scarlett, which is a task in and of itself. It amazes me how Jennifer Lawrence is widely held as America's Sweetheart and has a movie career set for life, but Scarlett Johansson doesn't get the same treatment. I mean, come on guys.

Tony Danza: B

He was good, but I could have lived without him in this movie. I honestly hadn't seen him since Who's The Boss (but then again, who has?) and gawwwwwd he's old. I mean, he did a really good job, but I was ready to smack him after 5 minutes. I get they wanted him to be a high strung doucher, but there were literally no redeeming qualities about him (which is a recurring theme in this movie). It's like they just told him to find an Italian accent and yell. That's it. That's all he did. Paaaaasssss.

Juliane Moore: B

She's an awesome actress and I've always enjoyed her work, but her character didn't really have anything going for her. She's basically an old-ish lady (and she's aged as well, which is weird considering I just saw her last week in Crazy, Stupid, Love and she looked dynamite in that movie) taking a night class and has a weird friendship with JGL. They give her a little backstory that kinda brings the movie full circle, but other than that she didn't have much to work with except for being stoned and serving no purpose until the last 15 minutes.

Rob Brown: C

Sorry man, you'll always be Kenyon from Coach Carter.

Glenne Headley: C-

She's one of two characters that I wanted to slap from the opening scene. Talk about patience wearing thin. She has two Emmy nominations, but she wasn't really that good of an actress in this movie. She was okay for what she was given, but I couldn't get past how much she got on my nerves. The movie is a lot stronger without JGL's family who served NO purpose here.

Brie Larson: F

I hated her in 21 Jump Street and I hate her in this. Literally stares at her phone until she gets a thought provoking sentence at the end. Like I said, JGL's family served NO purpose except to annoy me.

Channing Tatum: A+++

Yeah, he's in it. And it was the best part of the movie. Love you dawg.

So that about wraps up the review. It was a cool idea and I love JGL's ambition waaaaaaaaay more than James Franco's. This is was a classic "Theory Movie", but take this movie for what it is: douchebags who want us to feel sorry for them while they have a lot of sex. This was a shame too because it was the first movie of Oscar Season and I was really excited about it. Oh well, they can't all be winners, even though this movie makes you think it is. Again, I really respect JGL for going out on a limb and I hope to see more directing projects from him in the future, but this movie just didn't do it for me.

Final Score: 2/5

Prisoners Review

Man...what a movie. 

First off, I've been stoked about this movie since I first saw the trailer a few months ago, and the movie absolutely surpassed all of my expectations. If you think the trailer gives away too much or you think this movie is predictable, you're in for a big surprise. 

I was first worried about the 2 and a half hour run time, I figured they would run out of story and stretch it out, but that wasn't the case...sort of. They kinda ran out of steam in the last 5 minutes, but the 30 minutes prior to that rectified it. 

You already know the story (kids get captured, Jake Gyllenhaal is the cop, Hugh Jackman is the dad who flies off the rails, yada yada yada) so I won't recap it. Instead I want to talk about the performances because they were so tight. Then I'll move on to how I felt about the movie and whatever whatever. 

Hugh Jackman: A+

Maaaaaaaaaan, he really broke the Wolverine mold on this one. I thought this was his best performance ever (a lot of people say Les Mis was his best performance but I had about 75289375323749 better things to do than watch that movie). He was so likable that you kinda forgave all the messed up things he did. But by the end of it, I was kinda like "either die or not be in the movie anymore" because your patience will wear thin. He went from super likable to "Can he not be in anymore scenes or something?"That's hard to accomplish as an actor but he did it to a tee. I was not a big fan of the movie making me not like him anymore, but that was a byproduct of it either being too long or bad writing. 

Jake Gyllenhaal: A+ 

This is the best part of the movie. Jake is a pretty tight actor who I wanna slap 99.9% of the time, but when he plays a cop, he can do it better than anyone out there. Watch End of Watch if you don't believe me. He steals the show in this movie, which is kinda hard since Hugh Jackman gave his best performance ever. I didn't really get the whole tattoo thing with him, but that's neither here nor there. All I know is when the time came, he delivered. Personally I thought he could have a taaaaad bit of comic relief but this movie gave the Dikembe Mutombo finger wave to that. 

Terrence Howard: A

Personally, his performance was more realistic than Hugh Jackmans'. Now, he didn't give his best performance (he won't ever top Hustle and Flow) but he did a good job of being the emotional counterpart to Hugh. 

Viola Davis: A

Didn't get as big of a role as she deserved, and she deserves it, but she made effective use of her screen time. She did a very good job with Paul Dano as a defeated mother, but she kinda disappears towards the end of the movie and nobody really cares. Same with Terrence Howard. For a 2 and a half hour movie, a few stories were wrapped up way too quickly.

Paul Dano: A++

THIS GUY! You may know him as that douche muncher from Looper who I was hoping would die, but in this movie he was really good as a mentally challenged, soft spoken, sensitive psychopath. He made you feel sorry for him and he was effectively creepy at the same time. He's kind of creepy in real life so I feel like he didn't really have to audition for the role. At all. 

Melissa Leo: A

She's a personal underground lowkey favorite of mine. Watch The Fighter and Red State and you'll see why. She just nails the "weird mom" role. I don't care if she's the same character in every movie, she's still pretty dope. And in this movie, she puts in a performance as good as the one in The Fighter, which earned her an Academy Award. 

Any Kid In This Movie: F

You kinda don't care after a while. And whoever played the son...son. 

Maria Bello: F

If you know me or have read my stuff before, she topped my Most Hated Actors list a year or so ago. Hate. Hate. Hate her. 

On to the movie...

My only real complaint in such a fantastic movie was the lack of screen time for Viola Davis and too much screen time for Maria Bello. Also, Davis and Terrence Howard's storyline wraps up like it's no big deal. And then they're gone for the rest of the movie. This is your accomplice man, his daughter was kidnapped too but the movie was just like "YOU GON' WATCH HUGH JACKMAN AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT" and forced us to accept that the family I didn't hate was done for the movie. 

There were also a lot of cliches, like someone in these movies always has a past drinking problem and there's always a renegade cop who has never left a case unsolved and figures out mysteries through unconventional methods. Whatever. 

Watch this movie, love this movie, maybe read the plot on Wikipedia afterwards because it gets kinda confusing. The 2 1/2 hour run time feels like 1 1/2 hours, although the last 5 minutes were kind of ehhhhhh. Oh and don't even get me started on that trash ending...

Final Score: 4.5/5

Grown Ups 2 Review

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MOVIE SNOB

It's no secret that people hate Grown Ups 2 and they have come to loathe Adam sandler. And you know what, I'm a pretty big movie snob, but I can appreciate a movie for what it is...and this was one of those movies.

Yes, the opening scene with the deer was lame. It was stupid and unfunny. They definitely could've come up with something funnier than a random deer that added nothing to the movie. So yeah, I hated the first 10 minutes.

So the basic premise of this movie (which had no purpose/no reason to be made) is that the 4 friends from the first movie (Sandler, James, Rock, Spade - notably missing Schneider) are throwing a party at Sandler's house and they run into a few obstacles, including making enemies with the local frat stars. 

Sandler's kids return from the first movie (the girl is still crazy annoying), Chris Rock's kids have grown (again, suffering from annoying daughter syndrome), David Spade just found out he HAD a kid (which was actually pretty funny), and Kevin James' kid is literally dumber than a rock (but turned out to be a prodigy).

They follow along the formulaic plot the story calls for, Shaq shows up (which was awesome), the Happy Madison guys randomly appear, and there were some great cameos (SNL cast, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jimmy Tatro). Then the 4 guys have a run in with the local frat, who think they are getting out of the crummy town they go to school in, which was actually a funny observation. 

People will hate this movie, and that is understandable. Adam Sandler has given up. His movies are all the same, he never steps out of his comfort zone (his one exception - Reign Over Me. FANTASTIC movie), and he can no longer carry a movie. So what was there to like about this movie? Acceptance. You have to accept that this is what you're going to get. I didn't die laughing at anything, but I did laugh consistently.

Want to know the most surprising thing about this movie? Taylor Lautner stole the show. He was the best character. Jacob from Twilight managed to be the funniest person in a movie full of comedy legends. And I was completely okay with that. I used to want to slap this guy into a volcano, but he's actually kind of tight now. 

There were also a few gags I didn't understand (like the black family saying WHAAAAAT) and I could have definitely lived without the daughters in this movie annoying me to no end. Also, Jon Lovitz still isn't funny.

So the final verdict, I liked it. I thought it was funny. Could it have been better? Yes. But this is the Adam Sandler we have now. He's older, he doesn't care, he makes the same movie, and he'll always play the same character. Has a star ever fallen off quite like Sandler has before? This movie is saved by the supporting cast. If this movie was centered around Adam Sandler...then I would've hated this movie. 

Movie snobs, enjoy this for what it is. I didn't expect Oscar winning performances or life changing experiences. I expected a lame comedy that left me mindless for 2 hours. And I wasn't disappointed. 

Final Score: 3/5

Magna Carta Holy Grail Review

Welcome to the new blog, 100 Black Dolphins. Don't ask me where I got the name. But as my first post, I wanted to review Jay-Z's new album, Magna Carta Holy Grail. Now, Jay-Z hasn't had the strongest collection of albums since releasing The Black Album (Blueprint 3 wasn't bad, but it wasn't Jay-Z quality), but the world has high hopes for this album, which was announced via the NBA Finals. 

So far, RocNation is 0.5/2 on albums released this year. You can argue Born Sinner and Yeezus being great all you want, but those albums are really just average, masqueraded as being great (hence the 0.5 rating). But Jay-Z's album looked to break the mold and win 2013, a year that hasn't been all that great for rap music, with the exception of Run The Jewels, ASAP Rocky, and Tyler The Creator. 

So was his album dope, or was it nope? Is this the album that Jay finally beats Kanye at the Grammys with? Is it worth the buy? Well, let's review it track by track and see. 

Without further adieu, I present:

The Magna Carta Holy Grail Review

1. Holy Grail (Feat. Justin Timberlake)

The album begins with Justin Timberlake singing his poor little heart out. This is definitely more of 20/20 Justin and not FutureSex/LoveSounds Justin. So about like 1:20 into the song, he finally passes the torch to Jay...then BAM! We go from Blue Ocean Floor piano chords to a heavy hitting beat. Son, Jay starts to snap, talking about how he loves the fame but he's seen it ruin lives. Then he drops a Kurt Cobain reference that didn't make sense, and uses the Smells Like Teen Spirit sample the world went bonkers over...in case you're wondering, it lasted about 3 seconds. 

2. Picasso Baby

You'll recognize this track being played on the Magna Carta commercial. And honestly it's just an "ehhhhhh" track. Like it isn't terrible or nothing, but I'm not gonna punch one of my friends if they changed this song in the whip. It's like, just a song that's there. He drops a lot of art references (I'm just gonna assume he googled "Most Popular Artists")...also, WHAT IS WITH RAPPERS USING BASQUIAT REFERENCES!? 

Then the beat switches up into a 99 Problems pt. 2 kind of beat. It was pretty cool, a whole lot better than the rest of the song. Like, the last verse is what this song should've been like. I don't care about BASQUIAT, Picasso, or Da Vinci; I just wanna hear about rappers killing people, metaphorically stealing my girl, telling me I'll never amount to anything, and doing drugs. I don't need to be educated. 

3. Tom Ford

*sigh*, another one of those "pop it for me" songs. This sounds like a leftover track from Watch The Throne. It's not terrible, but it's not great. He talks about the rich life, girls, and Tom Ford. This song doesn't really bring anything to the table that we haven't heard 298140294 times. If you wanna hear about how well Jay is doing, this is the song for you!

4. F*ckwithmeyouknowigotit (Feat. Rick RAWSE)

FINALLY. Son this beat is MURDER. Sounds like something out of that Bruce Lee biopic from the 90s when he's working out with nun-chucks and beating up random Asians who keep tearing his shirt off and giving him scratches while he casually stomps they face in and everybody is just like "THAT WAS TIGHT" and the cops are nowhere to be found and then he has nightmares about some Asian warlords who dress like Genghis Khan who are always tryna kill him. So yeah, this song is super tight.

5. Oceans (Feat. Frank Ocean)

ANOTHER BASQUIAT REFERENCE. Frank Ocean is singing his heart out like he's a waterbuuuuuuug *Boobie Miles voice* with something to prove. Jay then starts rapping about...wait, I have no idea what he's rapping about. Has there ever been a worse faux-intelligent rapper than Jay? I know he's a smart guy, but he's trying to sound like he's Lupe/Nas (who are also fake intelligent!). This song is okay, it's not safe from the skip button though. No sir. 

6. F.U.T.W. 

Oh maaaan, this beat is pretty dirty. Jay is a lot better when he's boasting about his skills (not his wealth) and he kiiiinda kills it on this. Rap is about the flow more than the lyrics, and he finds a pretty sweet balance between the two. I like this track, it's pretty dope, definitely making the cut for a spot on my iPod. Also, he had the sickest line of the album on this track: 

"America trying to emasculate the greats/Murder Malcolm/Gave Cassius the shakes"

7. Somewhereinamerica

Wheeeeeeeeeew. Jay is back on his Great Gatsby sh*t. This song, along with $100 Bills, are his two strongest songs this year. The beat is tight, the lyrics and flow are pretty solid, but did he HAVE to drop a Miley reference? Whyyyyyyyy Jay whyyyyyyyyyyy? He's inflated Miley's ego even further, something NOBODY wants to happen. Ugh :(

8. Crown

This is that song produced by that 16 year old from Canada...and he killed it. I loved the Solid As A Rock sample (Ja Rule used it a few years ago as a diss to 50 Cent). This is probably my favorite Jay-Z flow on the album, I like when he keeps it continuously going through a verse as opposed to pausing between his sentences (that always drove me crazy). Travis Scott did his thing on the chorus, but again, that 16 year old producer stole the show on this track. 

9. Heaven (Feat Justin Timberlake)

I could do without the JT chorus, but Jay killed the verses. I'm so glad he finally killed all the Illuminati noise (seriously, how low do your standards of belief have to be to believe something like that). Now, do I agree with all the God bashing in the song, not really, but it doesn't make the song bad. If you're down with God, this song is a little weird, but if you're secular or whatever then you oughta be getting hype right now. Personally, I think it's a dope song, but it doesn't mean I agree with it all. 

10. Versus

It took me longer to write this sentence than it did to listen to this whole song. 

11. Part II (On The Fun) (Feat. Beyonce)

I hate everything about this song. Jay and Bey need to stop doing songs together, they haven't made a quality track together since '03 Bonnie and Clyde. Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. 

12. Beach

My copy didn't come with this track...oops. 

13. BBC (Feat Nas)

SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP. 

14. Jay-Z Blue

The video about the song is better than the song, but JAY-Z BLUE is still pretty tight. I loved the Mommie Dearest sample. I also loved the Biggie Smalls back vocals. This is probably the strongest song on the album. It isn't the BEST song, but it's the strongest. Also, apparently Jay-Z Blue is a real color? Son...

15. La Familia 

LIL WAYNE DISS! Jay-Z finally responds to Weezy's weak ass It's Good track (the track that Drake flexed his baby muscles on). The beat was tough, Jay sounded pretty pissed, and he was dissing a high profile rapper. This is when Jay is at his best (See: Takeover). Mad Jay = Good Jay. 

16. Nickels and Dimes

This album should've probably ended with La Familia, but I'm not mad at this track. It's nice to see Jay rap about the streets. He's been doing a lot of style over substance lately, but this was a nice reminder of what Jay COULD be. He is hip hop, don't forget that, and this song is the perfect example of what made Jay-Z who he is. Now that I think about it, I wish every track on the album was like this. It shouldn't of been a closing tack (should've been La Familia), but this is a solid song, no doubt. 

So we made it through the album. Overall, it wasn't terrible, but it didn't exactly live up to the hype. This was more of a Watch The Throne type album, but it was still pretty decent. It isn't one of Jay's best album, but it is a lot better than his recent efforts on the mic. Music appeals to everyone differently and these were just my opinions while listening to it, but this album was slightly above mediocre at best. It's certainly better than Born Sinner and that trash called Yeezus. 

Speaking of Yeezus, anyone else notice Kanye missing from the album. It's weird that Jay would have JT (who maybe or maybe not dissed Ye on SNL) over Kanye. I'm probably over analyzing, but still.

Final Score: 3/5