The Walking Dead: Isolation Review (and character rankings)

All right. The Walking Dead is no longer reliant on zombies to advance the story, we're headed towards new territory now. It almost parallels history; there's a new society, population increases, a plague wipes out said population. And along with a killer plague running rampant, we're getting deeper into the true nature of certain characters (one by the name of Carol).

Carol ended up being the one that committed the murder last week (gasp!) and Rick was able to find out by squatting over the crime scene, resting his hand on his chin, and squinting. I see why he was such a respected cop now. Carol is cold blooded, which has been evident this season, she has ice in her veins and fire in her eyes. So should we side with her? Should we support her killing off two people that maybe (absolutely not) could have been saved? This system they have at the prison is beginning to crack. The seams are coming apart, and it's only a matter of time before their leader, Rick the greatest detective of all time, loses his marbles.

Aside from Rick's mental state and Carol becoming a cold blooded killer, we have the sickness wiping out the prison population. Of course there are only two sick people that we care about, Glenn and Sasha. If they end up not being able to find medicine and these are the fates these characters meet, then it will be a stumble on the writers' part. Sasha can go out by a glorified cold because we haven't really gotten to know her, but Glenn...no. Glenn is a fan favorite and has been with us since the beginning. For his fate to possibly be to a sickness is unacceptable.

Another thing about this episode I really enjoyed was separating Tyreese, Daryl, Bob Stookey (Deangelo Barksdale?) and Michonne from the group. We now have a subplot with all the likable character while the people who we don't really mind if they get sick are back at the prison. We're having two storylines: one awesome and one not so awesome. We are making progress here!!!

Now it is time for: THE WALKING POWER RANKINGS

1. Daryl Dixon (last week: 1)

Surprised? The way he drove that car into a horde of zombies, got stuck, had a plan for survival, popped out of the sunroof, OUT OF THE SUNROOF, and used the crossbow/knife combo is probably going to keep him at #1 for a long time coming. Nobody is dethroning Daryl. He almost lost it when Tyreese was going to beat him up, but his "Daryl touch" calmed the wild man down. Only Daryl.

2. Carol Peletier (last week: 8)

Don't call it a comeback!!! Carol is becoming a fan favorite and a killer. The way she held her composure while the zombies were closing in on her and her knife kills are only making her more endearing. I'm on the Carol bandwagon, no, I'm DRIVING the bandwagon, hop aboard!!!!!

3. Rick Grimes (last week: 2)

He beat up Tyreese and shot a zombie or two. Other than that he didn't really do much. Oh wait, he discovered a murder scene in less than 10 seconds!!!! Tyreese would be above Rick, but Rick beat Tyreese to a pulp, so by default he wins. But barely.

4. Tyreese (last week: not ranked)

Here's the comeback of the century!!! After getting beat up and embarrassed, Tyreese was ready to just kill himself. His sister is sick, his girl is gone, and his manhood left him a long time ago. He decides to go on a run for medicine and guess what...he RAGES!!! He was evolving right before our eyes and he took out a hammer and killed a solid 302940384984 zombies. #TeamTyreese

5. Hershel Greene (last week: 6)

He's doing a lot for a man with one leg. He's making tea for the sick, letting them cough up blood on his face and he's not taking anything from anyone. I don't know how much longer Hershel has left, but he's the orderly grandpa who is happy where he is. If something happens and the group decides to move...I don't think he has much more left in him.

6. Michonne (last week: 7)

She didn't really do anything. But she had a few sweet sword kills, so why not?

7. Bob Stookey (last week: 9)

DeAngelo Barksdale Bob Stookey is starting to win me over again. He's not the traitor that I thought he was going to be and he's proving to be useful to the group. I like it and you should like it. Without the medic, this prison is going to be wiped out. Embrace him.

8. Hershel's Ponytail (last week: not ranked)

Rick's beard has been dethroned!!!!

9. Bandanas (last week: not ranked)

They're making everyone look cool, they're protecting them from disease, and they'd be a great accessory for when the characters go to battle. But who wore the bandanna best?? (Daryl, Glenn, Hershel, Carol).

10. Rick's Hat (last week: not ranked)

Sure, it was on Carl's head and it makes him look stupid. I wish he'd wear it more often.

Not Ranked:

Beth Greene
Carl Grimes
Tyreese's Manhood
Sasha
Rick's Beard
Maggie Greene
Gleen Rhee
The Tree Zombie
Bob Stookey's Drinking Problem
The Glorified Cold
Carl's Gun/Silencer

Overall this was the best episode of the season and I'm excited about the new territory we're headed towards. I thought the 3rd season wouldn't be able to be topped, and it still hasn't, but the potential this show has only gets bigger and better. I'm liking it. This was a good episode but I have to dock some points because Beth's coolness is starting to waver and Carl left a zombie in the woods. DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FARM THE LAST TIME YOU LEFT A ZOMBIE IN THE WOODS, CARL? OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY WEARING THAT STUPID HAT?

Final Score: 4.5/5

Bad Grandpa Review

I wasn't excited about this movie. I walked into the theater expecting it to be packed. I see a row with 4 open seats, me and my company take up two seats, so there's no way someone sits next to us. The theater gradually fills up more and more as the commercials roll on. It's mostly college kids with the IQ of a stone. You can hear them breathe and shuffle their feet as if they were trolls. They move slowly and stupidly. People sit next to me. Their cologne takes over. Their laughter is uproarious. The movie is a lot funnier to them than it is to me, but is that because of the experience or the movie?

Bad Grandpa is the latest effort from the Jackass crew. Usually their movies involve stunts that make you squirm because of how painful it looks, but this film was more about pranking people, which was a little different than what we're used to from these guys.

While the hidden camera genre has been around since sometime in the 40s, it was Sacha Baron Cohen who revolutionized the category with Borat and Bruno. He made it scripted hidden camera, which is what Bad Grandpa sets out to do. Is it as good as Cohen's work? No. But it is effective.

The big problem hidden camera movies often run into is their long runtime. These things can only be funny for so long. Borat and Bruno both ran 30 minutes too long. Bad Grandpa actually ends it right on time, maybe 5 minutes too long but that's neither here nor there.

The heart of Bad Grandpa is the interaction and chemistry between Johnny Knoxville and Jackson Nicoll, who play Irving and Billy. When you watch this movie, you never think to yourself that you're watching Johnny Knoxville, no, he made his character believable, which was actually quite shocking. There were scenes where you'd completely forget this is affiliated with the Jackass crew. The most effective moments are the few serious scenes Knoxville has, which he plays quite convincingly.

Jackson Nicoll, who plays Billy, ended up stealing the show. He was hilarious and he's actually been in a couple big movies, but nobody recognizes him/cares. His interactions with unsuspecting adults were hysterical. And his dance during the toddler pageant has been shown over and over again in the commercials, but it's still amusing.

Johnny Knoxville: A+

What more can you say? He was funny. He didn't overdo it and he remained committed to his character. There were situations where he could have potentially been put in harms way, but he attacks each obstacle with a sort of fearlessness that you ultimately have to respect. Knoxville has always been funny, but as of lately (the last 5 years) we have forgotten about Knoxville and the Jackass crew? Why is that? Back in 2007 there was nothing in the world cooler than Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, and Bam Margera. Now that they have all came in went, let me tell you something, Johnny Knoxville doing this by himself is 10x better than anything he did with them.

Jackson Nicoll: A+

Impressionable, a dirty mouth, innocent, and not all there. That is the perfect formula for comedic success with children. Usually movies try to make us think a kid cursing is somehow shocking and hilarious (it never is), but Nicoll manages to pull it off with ease. It's worth the price of admission to see him call another man dad, trust me.

The movie ran longer than it should have, but the final 20 minutes are the best parts. Just hope you see it with people who have some trace of intellect. This movie isn't on par with Bruno or Borat but it does a solid job of reminding us why those movies were so funny. And if this means we are getting more Johnny Knoxville and a lot less (and by that I mean absolutely none) Jackass, then we may just be headed for a bright and funny future. This is a humorous movie, but don't be fooled by everyone around you, it's a lot funnier to them.

Final Score: 3/5

Throwback Review: (500) Days of Summer

(Yes, this movie came out forever ago. No, we aren't seeing this for the first time. Once a week, a new addition to 100 Black Dolphins will write a throwback review to a movie that's already been out for a few years. If you see parenthesis scattered throughout the article, that's just me reinforcing or countering an idea or point. So now, I present you with our new writer and his review of an infuriatingly great movie called 500 Days of Summer)

I think it's safe to say that I've never been this surprised by a movie before and that's because there are three types of movies I usually like to steer clear of:

1. Movies based off video games, because they usually suck
2. Horror movies, because you almost never see something new in them
3. And finally, romantic movies, because they give girls these crazy, unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should be like.

I thought 500 Days was going to fall straight into category three, but I was very, very wrong. This movie tells the story of Tom, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who works at a place that comes up with the ideas for greeting cards. He meets a co-worker named Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel, whom he falls in love with. The only problem for our boy Tom here is that Summer has a weird, messed up logic where she doesn't believe in true love (like 99% of girls in the world amiright??). Before I get on to any more of the movie though, let's talk about the performances.

Joseph Gordon- Levitt: A+

This movie's two main strengths are its super original plot and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. When I first saw JGL in this movie, I thought he was going to be like one of those guys that would tweet things like "all I really care about is making a girl happy" (be honest, you know guys like that who lost their masculinity during the internet age), but once again, I was wrong. He ends up absolutely stealing the show. Any guy that's ever struck out with a girl, been rejected, or been left for someone else can relate to this dude (basically every guy in the world). He perfectly portrays how a guy feels in a relationship, which is what made this movie so enjoyable to me. He really shows how fast you can go from loving all the small things in a girl to absolutely hating them once they've wronged you. He totally just kills it in this movie. He's a lot more like the average guy than you think, and that's what makes it so great.

Zooey Deschanel: A

Man, this woman used to annoy me SO MUCH. Like, her and Russell Brand used to be the only people I hated as much as Kristen Stewart (Russell Brand is still up there). But this movie is already full of surprises, so let's just throw another one in there. Zooey Deschanel is really, really good in this movie. Honestly she's borderline amazing for about 95% of the movie. The other 5% is what keeps me from giving her an A+. To me, she just acts too nice sometimes and there are moments where I can't buy that she's actually really bitter inside, which really sucks because it took me out of the movie at times. I can't complain about it too much though, because this will probably be the best we ever see of her.

Geoffrey Arend: B+

This guy plays a really cool wing man and a pretty sweet best friend to Tom. Sadly though, he isn't in the movie nowhere near as much as he should be. It's not his fault, but it sucks because he was awesome.

Matthew Gray Gubler: D

This guy just kinda pops in at some points in the movie and really doesn't add anything to it. He wasn't needed at all. DUMB. (I disagree with this!)

Chloe Grace Moretz: C

Yes, just about everyone's favorite part of Kick-Ass, Hit-Girl, is in this movie. Sadly, her character seemed like it was written by a middle-schooler. She plays like some 7th grader who just drops knowledge on JGL about girls when he shows up around her. All the things she says are really true, but I just can't buy it coming from a 12-year-old. Like Zooey Deschanel at times, she wasn't believable and it took me out of the movies at some points. The only thing that stops me from giving her a lower grade is that it is Chloe Grace Mortez, and she's an awesome actress and anyone else would have made this the most unwatchable character ever. (And she gets a C?? You all can see me Stan over Chloe Grace in the Carrie Review.)

The Narrator: A+

This dude's voice is pretty groovy.

Back to the movie now. The only things I have wrong with it are a couple of unrealistic character portrayals, it doesn't really go anywhere for like ten minutes in the middle of it, and there's a guy in there who's pretty pointless. The director, Marc Webb (he's currently directing The Amazing Spider-Man series), is a real champ though. He took a really original story and directed this movie in way that I've never seen anything like. Plus, it has a non-linear plot, which makes it even more awesome (that means it isn't told directly from beginning to end, guys). It's definitely worth a watch though, especially if you're a dude that has trouble with the ladies. Then again, that might just be me.

So in the end, when you add up an original story, really good performances (for the most part), and awesome directing, you get this off-the-wall romantic comedy that has some good drama sprinkled into it, and ends up being nothing short of a really fun movie.

Final Score: 4/5

The Walking Dead: Infected Review

After the average season premier, the second episode of The Walking Dead was a lot better. Some big things happened, people died (nobody you'd care about), and Carl is still doing Carl things. There were a lot of things that happened in this episode that kind of redeemed the premier. Think of the premier like World War 1, it was just the set up to something bigger.

The first thing that was popping in this episode was that someone has been feeding rats to the walkers. (insert shocked emoji) Who in the world is doing this?? There's a traitor in the prison, someone in Cell Block 4 (it's actually D Block but I like the CB4 reference better) is turning on the group. Is it someone working for the governor by any chance?? Either Rick or Darryl better figure out who it was, because they also burned some bodies (probably saved a few lives though), upsetting that feminine wallflower Tyrone.

We then move on to the attack. The Walking Dead has always been really solid about executing zombie attacks and this one was no different. It was really great to see Darryl in action, and even Glenn (GLENN!!) sliced up a few walkers. We were robbed of Michonne however, she broke her foot or tore her ACL or something like that. A bunch of minor characters died, so with less characters we don't care about, we are moving into established character territory (slowly but surely).

After the attack came the saddest part of the episode: the pigs. The pigs are apparently carrying some kind of spanish flu that is making everyone sicker and rapidly causing them to turn. So Rick and Darryl slice up the pigs and feed them to the walkers, which was sad to see. Even Rick got emotional and his face just screamed "This is what my life has become," which was hard to watch.

Carl ends up ratting out Carol about teaching kids how to kill zombies, two girl's dad dies, Michonne gets super emotional while holding a baby, Tyrone's girl is burned to a crisp along with someone else, and it looks like Rick is about to lose it. We are heading towards exciting territory here!!!!

Now let's move on to the weekly power rankings:

1. Darryl Dixon (last week: 1)

He's still the bad ass of the group. He'll never be the leader, but the fan favorite bounty hunter (think of him as Bobba Fett) will not be knocked out of the top spot anytime soon. Darryl had a few nice zombie kills, and his contribution to the group as the killer with a stable mental mind is only going to help them all going forward.

2. Rick Grimes (last week: 3)

All right we have a shakeup in the rankings!! Rick moves up because he shut up and became a quiet leader the group needed. He also didn't freak out when Carl ratted out Carol. I give him major props for that. And killing live pigs is the furthest thing from easy. Your mental state may be in shambles this week, Rick Grimes, but you're slowly crawling your way back into my heart.

3. Glenn Rhee (last week: 5)

Wooooo Glenn hopped right up here because of two things: he had a sweet zombie kill and he took a pic of his girl while she was asleep. Glenn is still the most normal of the group, which is going to come in handy when Rick has an inevitable breakdown (it's coming).

4. Rick Grimes' Beard (last week: 4)

Maintaining it's number 4 spot is the great beard of Rick Grimes, which I was afraid would be shaven. But it better watch out because Hershel's ponytail is starting to make some noise.

5. Patrick (last week: not ranked)

This all happened because of Patrick, so it only felt right to put him here. His impact on the episode was probably the biggest out of any character here. He caused the riot, they discovered a new kind of sickness because of him, and because of that we are heading into a whole new territory for The Walking Dead. All because of Patrick. Or the pigs...drats I should've put the pigs here.

6. Hershel Greene (last week: 6)

Still the wise one of the group. He's figuring everything out and surviving huge zombie attacks with one leg. He's bound to climb the rankings any day now.

7. Michonne (last week: 2)

What a drop off. It wasn't all her fault to be honest. She broke her leg or something like that during the beginning of the attack, so her swordsmanship was taken from us. It's like when you have a star player go down with an injury during a regular season game. It sucks at the time, but they'll eventually come back. We trust you, Michonne!!!

8. Carol Peletier (last week: not ranked)

Carrrroooolll!!! She's cold blooded. She also thought quickly on her feet when she went to amputate the infected dad, which didn't work out too well in the end. She's also teaching kids to toughen up, which she's actually the perfect candidate for because she's gone through physical abuse and losing her child over the course of the series. Carol has come the longest way since the start of the show, which is wonderful because my patience was thin for her in the middle of season 2.

9. Bob Stookey (last week: not ranked)

He didn't get on my nerves this episode, which is what moved him up. He also figured out the flu. If the writers ignore his cliche Hollywood drinking problem, then he has the power to move up the rankings. But he probably won't and I'm more than okay with that.

10. Carl Grimes (last week: not ranked)

Only because nobody else was worthy of this spot. He saved Michonne, so that counts for something. But he ratted out Carol. But he didn't cry because he didn't get his comics. But he's rocking skinny jeans (where are they getting these skinny's???). If Tyreese gets some dignity then he can get back into the rankings.

Not Ranked:

Rick's Hat
Tyreese
Tyreese's Manhood
Beth Greene
Carl's Comics
Sasha
The Traitor
Darryl's Bandanna (should've been ranked)
The Two Daughters
Darryl and Carol's Romance
Hayley Williams

This was an overall good episode. It was actually a great episode that managed to save an average start to the season. I'm docking off a few points because Beth broke my trust and started singing again. I had high hopes for her and she flashed such potential in the season opener, but she went riiiiight back to her ways. Also Tyreese HAS to man up. T-Dog did it and he only said two sentences throughout his time on the series. Tyreese, put down the showtunes and pick up an axe or something. DO SOMETHING!!

Final Score: 4/5

Carrie Review

I watched the movie Carrie last night, and went into it with a "meh, this movie might be okay" attitude. I wasn't all that excited to see a probably mediocre movie. I wasn't about to slap a bunch of seven year olds off their little bikes while they were delivering the morning paper so that I could be first in line when the movie opened. Oh, why did I go in with that mindset to a movie that stars Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore? Let me back up a little bit...

I was about 10 years old when I saw the original Carrie with Sissy Spacek and John Travolta. I remember the movie scaring me, but not because the content was scary, but because Sissy's eyes creeped me out. Her eyes are so unique that it scared me. Piper Laurie, who played her mother Margaret, was undeniably scary as well. I still think about her sometimes and the way she scared me. She was never motherly, only psychotic and religious, which was the point of her character. I mean, man...

I watched that movie when I was 10. I couldn't comprehend the religious tones, the insults, the periods, or the fact that John Travolta could be a bad guy. All I saw was the cool guy from Pulp Fiction (I sneaked and watched these movies when my parents went to bed...whoops) and a lot of blood and people getting killed. That's literally all I took away from the movie when I was 10...oh and the boobs too. That was awesome.

I watched the movie again last year at age 20. I watched it one day on Netflix because I was sick and confined to my bed. I saw the movie on there and thought to myself "hmmm, I don't remember a thing about that movie except for John Travolta, a scary mom, boobs, a period and Sissy Spacek being the scariest looking human alive". I looked at the Rotten Tomatoes rating for the movie: 91%. I checked Roger Ebert's (R.I.P. big homie) site, he gave it three and a half stars out of four. I'm in!!! I'm going to love this movie, I never appreciated the original horror masterpiece when I was 10 (other than the boobs), but I can't wait to fully value a genius work of art written by one of the greatest literary minds of our time, Stephen King. So I watch it again, fully prepared to love this movie that everyone tells me to love.

HELL NOOOOOO. That movie was trash. The original Carrie sucked so much that the boob scene wasn't even cool anymore. Don't ever come up to me and tell me that movie is a masterpiece because you're lying to me. That movie was worse than trash. That movie was supremely overrated, much like The Shawshank Redemption, yeah, I didn't like that movie, what are you going to do about it? I get why people like the original Carrie, but there are probably 1,000,000,000,000 movies I'd rather watch instead. I mean, the movie was so bad that I can't remember a thing that happened. Seriously, I saw it last year and I don't even know if Sissy Spacek said a word during the movie.

That's a little backstory as to why I wasn't stoked to watch a remake of a movie I forgot all about as I was watching it.

The remake begins with Juliane Moore in pain, bleeding on her bed, wondering what kind of cancer she has (she's just pregnant). She's having this baby, but she's convinced she's dying of cancer from seXXX. The baby pops out, and Moore goes to stab it with some scissors (this was disturbing), but she couldn't. She holds the baby, cradling it, living in her own delusional world.

We fast forward a few years, and see Moretz as Carrie, being bullied at school. My big problem with the school bullying was that it was way too obvious. This is 2013, girls aren't going to openly destroy you in front of everyone. This is an accepting time period, a time where girls merely subtweet and trash you subtly behind your back. People have such a need to be liked nowadays, that there's no way a girl will go out of her way to openly humiliate someone in public. Whatever, that's just a minor complaint.

The other weird thing about the school was the huge emphasis on prom. Again, this is 2013, prom is nowhere close to ruining your whole life for as it was in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Also, Tommy Ross is the star Lacrosse player and the most popular boy in school. As stated earlier, this is 2013. This is supposed to be a remake of an old, terrible movie but its customs seem stuck in another generation. Of course there was the accentuation on smart phones, propelling you to think "SEE THIS TECHNOLOGY?! THIS IS TECHNOLOGY THEY ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIE".

Now, I don't want to compare this movie to its predecessor, I'm reviewing this as a stand alone film. And there are a lot of moments in the movie where you wondered if the director sent a 40 year old to a high school to learn their formalities. But these are just minor grievances that can be overlooked in the final product. But anyway, let's move on to the performances.

Chloe Graze Moretz: A

She's the foundation of this movie. She's a great actress, always has been, and at 16, her future is as bright as can be. One of the main reasons this movie doesn't work in 2013 is because Moretz is naturally pretty. She's too pretty to be bullied at school. Sissy Spacek was perfect for the role because she looked like someone who would've been bullied in school. She was gauche and scary. Moretz is way too pretty to be a victim. The only real hiccup in the movie was the way they handled her awkwardness. Subtlety isn't the film's strong point (which it needs to be to be believable in 2013), and aside from that, she turns in a solid performance. I also loved that the studio went with an actual teenager instead of a 30 year old playing an 18 year old. You'd be surprised how much more conceivable it is when the actors and actresses are the appropriate age. This movie doesn't work without Moretz, anyone else in this role would have been a disappointment.

Julianne Moore: A+

Man, she wasn't as scary as Piper Laurie was in the original (but then again, who was?) but she was so solid in this movie. Julianne Moore is so great because of how consistently good she is in her movies. Moore is truly an underrated actress, who always manages to hold her own in any movie. In Carrie, she gives off a truly scary vibe, but is motherly when the time calls for it. Moore manages to go from being despised to being needed, always able to redeem herself after doing something repugnant. That's a tough feat for actors and actresses, to be able to sway our emotions, and when they do it, the performance is truly remarkable. The interactions between Moore and Moretz, two top notch actresses from different generations, was beautiful. It was also wonderful to see women on display, this movie was also directed by a woman, so kudos to this powerful triangle of talented women.

Gabriella Wilde: C+

Yeahhhhh she's meant to be hot. She does an okay job of fake caring, but this role literally could have gone to anyone else and had the same impact. The role of Carrie and her mother work so well because those two actresses are so wonderful that they made those roles their own. The Sue character though? If you're hot you can play this part.

Portia Doubleday: B-

She was actually pretty decent as the school bully who was weirdly obsessed with prom. Why didn't she just wait and go to the after party? There were literally like 30 people at the prom in the school gym that had decorations that looked like they were done by a 5th grader. Why would she go out of her way to be mean to Carrie? Why would she risk going to jail for a school dance? It's 2013 and prom is not a big deal anymore.

Ansel Elgort: B

The surprise of the movie!!! In the beginning he's only in the movie to flex as hard as he can and be the pretty popular guy. But as the movie goes on, you actually end up loving the guy. The character of Tommy Ross could've gone to anyone, but I don't think anyone could have made the role as likable as Elgort did. It was a pleasant surprise.

Judy Greer: B

Nothing memorable, but she did drop a solid performance. Her character as the teacher with a heart of gold didn't require her to go above and beyond the call of duty. She had a little scene with Portia Doubleday where they are getting heated, but the acting did exactly what it was supposed to do and nothing more. In fact, outside of the two fantastic leads, everyone sort of played their roles the way they were meant and that was that. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but a movie will never be memorable without distinctive roles.

The movie itself was really good when you get past the small flaws. The thing I think I liked most were the moral consequences. Good people lived, bad people died, as opposed to the original Carrie where everyone died. Of course the bucket scene with Tommy Ross was stupid, but I understood WHY it happened. In the end, this Carrie was more likable and wasn't just a demonic monster. And honestly, Chloe Moretz outshines Sissy Spacek, even though Spacek had the look for the role. Piper Laurie was scarier as Margaret White, but Julianne Moore made the role her own (something I really appreciated). Everyone else fit into their roles and blended into the background behind the phenomenal performances of Julianne Moore and Chloe Grace Moretz.

I'm all for remakes, I am, I love the idea. Of course the remakes rarely eclipse the original (21 Jump Street was more of a "sequel", but it surpassed the TV show by lightyears), but Carrie was better than the original, not SCARIER, better. Both movies hold up well on their own, so it's really a matter of preference. If you don't have a significant tie to the original, then the remake will be enjoyable, but it's understandable that someone who was around for the initial impact Carrie had in 1976 may not prefer the updated version. But I do. Because the 1976 movie was not a very good movie, to me.

This movie is very much in the running for one of my personal awards at the end of the year, The Surprise Movie Of The Year (more on that at a later date). If you're wondering whether or not you should see the remake of Carrie or wait until it comes to Redbox because you don't want to sit in a theater with a bunch of college kids that have the IQ of a bean, take the risk and go see it.

Final Score: 3.5/5

Walking Dead Review: 30 Days Without An Accident

Well, well, well, The Walking Dead is back. It's been a long time since we last saw our little survival group, and a lot has changed since then. And I'm not sure how to feel about it. Since the end of last season and up until this season, the momentum The Walking Dead has had seems to be slowing down. We're coming off the final season of the greatest show to ever grace television (Breaking Bad), which set the bar so high that it's killed the hype of Walking Dead.

The thing about Dead has always been the final product. This is a show that paces itself like a marathon, not a sprint (unlike Bates Motel). The show puts you through a long journey that occasionally frustrates you but ultimately pays off in the end. Its pacing is similar to Mad Men, the journey is long, but the final product is worth all the time you spent getting there. Breaking Bad was more about the journey, because by the final episode, we're happy with the series. The finale of that show was just icing on the cake we had fun eating. The Walking Dead puts you through vegetables and a bad casserole before you get to the ice cream.

 The Walking Dead has always specialized in season premiers. The starting point and the ending of the seasons are when this show is at its best. There has been something significant in each premiere that has set up the tone and hopes for the show:

Season 1: The zombie apocalypse obviously. The first episode of this series remains the best. It was 90 minutes of intensity, one that ended with a huge cliffhanger.

Season 2: Carl gets shot, Carol's daughter goes missing. Of course Carl (sadly) made it through and the storyline of Carol's daughter stretched out 3 episodes too long (more on that later).

Season 3: Discovery of the prison, Hershel loses his foot. This was one of my favorites of the series and provided an excellent pacing for the season, which unfortunately stalled at the midway point.

Season 4: Uhmmm.

Nothing exactly significant happened. There was the kid who died in the end and coughed into the water supply, but we didn't know the kid. We didn't have an attachment to him. All this was, was a tiny cliffhanger that will probably be solved by next episode.

There was a lot of potential for this episode to provide the most significant moment for the series, which was when we met Half-Dead Zooey Deschanel in the woods. Like the host on The Talking Dead I seriously assumed this was going to be a new species of zombie, one that walks and talks like a human. I'm mad that it didn't turn out this way. Imagine if we were introduced to a new species of zombie, the possibilities of this show would be endless from there.

I feel like I've just piled onto the premiere, which wasn't all that bad. The bright spot is still Daryl. He's great. And the zombie battle in the supermarket was very intense, although we knew we were never in danger of losing Michonne or Daryl, but it seems as if Glenn is leaning towards being expendable.

The final confrontation between the Half-Dead Zooey Deschanel and Rick was great. I was genuinely shocked when she rushed Rick with the sword. I knew there was SOMETHING wrong with her, but I didn't think she was going to be completely psycho. I had originally thought she was going to bring Rick back to The Governor, who shockingly didn't make an appearance in this episode.

The episode, much like the series, was all about pacing. It started off slow, and then finally picked up steam and delivered a solid finale. The thing about this show that makes the pacing unbearable at times is how seriously it takes itself. I understand this is meant to be a drama that goes deeper than zombies, but why does it always have to be so gloomy and dark? This is a world with ZOMBIES, have fun with it. Find some comic relief, make Daryl and Michonne MORE bad ass, do something! This show is entirely too heavy, which makes it a chore to get through at times.

Another thing about Dead, the acting. The acting on this show has never been Emmy worthy, we all know that, but what the show lacks in acting (see: Rick crying last season) it makes up in effects. The effects were mediocre in this episode. The zombies falling through the ceiling was absolutely terrific, but the blood and sword slashing effects...I don't know.

Enough about the episode, which ended on a strong note, let's move on to the weekly power rankings for each character. Each week I'll rank the characters based on their performance (not acting) in each episode and if they do anything to help/damage the group.

1. Daryl Dixon

From the moment he licked his fingers to shake that nerdy boy's hand, Daryl had already stolen my heart again. He's the best thing this group has for survival and his slow acceptance towards people is making him an even better character. The scene where him, Michonne, and the Guy Who's Name I Don't Remember were trying to figure out what Daryl's job was before the zombie outbreak was hilarious. Daryl is exactly what the show needs more of.

2. Michonne

Don't play like you're surprised. Michonne was extremely frustrating last season, but this season she's more laid back and down to slash some zombies. She even had a kind enough heart to bring that bratty kid Carl some comics. That's just who Michonne is, if you let her open up you find a kind woman who's down to do whatever she can to help the group. Her and Daryl are very much alike, which is why it's not surprising that she's number 2.

3. Rick Grimes

I mean, he's still the lead, but he's no longer a deal breaker for me. Rick is still the leader of the group, but he gets stupider with every episode. He clearly suffers from PTSD and his dumb decisions reflect that. Rick handled the Half-Dead Zooey Deschanel situation the best way someone in his mindset could, and he's clearly conflicted, which may be his downfall as the series progresses.

4. Rick Grimes' Beard

Yeah, it was awesome. Let's hope it's here to stay. It's better than Daryl's emo hair, Daryl's chin dusting, Carol's alarmingly slow growing hair, Carl's hair, and Hershel's ponytail.

5. Glenn Rhee

He's still one of my favorites on the show, but he didn't really do much other than stress about being a possible dad and looking stupid in his armor. Glenn perfectly symbolizes the human side of the group, he was never conflicted or hardened by the zombie outbreak, he was always the lovable kid who is living the most normal life under the unusual circumstances.

6. Hershel Greene 

He's still the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the group, but his missing leg keeps him from being anything more than Rick's therapist. He's valuable for his advice and the amazing amount of free time he has to watch Rick's kid.

7. Beth Greene

Listen, Beth has the best chance to climb the rankings this season. She is all cried out, she doesn't seem privy to break out in song, and she had a comedic moment with the "Days Without An Accident" sign. She very well could end up being the best character this season, unless she's already been allotted all her lines for the season. Beth was great in this episode because she wanted to make out and her care level was at zero whether or not Guy Who's Name I Don't Remember came back.

8. Half-Dead Zooey Deschanel

She managed to get my hopes up, ruin them, and scare me all within the same episode, which is uncharacteristic for The Walking Dead, who would usually stretch her character 5 episodes too long. I was rooting for her to capture Rick or become some sort of antagonist this season. But at least she controlled her fate.

9. Tyreese 

Man, I don't know. The guy has all the potential to be the muscle of this group, but he seems like he just wants to pick daisies and make out with the rest of the residents. I hope Tyreese becomes more manly throughout the season, because his premiere didn't live up to the expectations that we had for him. Enough with the feelings, more of the killings!!!

10. Sasha

Tyreese's sister looks like she may be the man of the family. She commanded that squadron and showed good judgement by not trusting the kicker from The Waterboy who ended up causing the supermarket to completely collapse. That was a lapse in judgment by everyone else, she was the one with good instincts.

On The Cusp Of Being Ranked: 

Carl Grimes
Maggie Greene
Carl's comics
The Governor
Bob "I have a cliche drinking problem" Stookey
The Kid Who Died At The End
Guy Who's Name I Don't Remember (he probably should've been ranked)
Carol
Tyreese's Manhood

Who Has The Best Chance To Die This Season:

1. Glenn

I believe it'll be him, but stranger things have happened. Would The Walking Dead be brave enough to kill off a likable character?

2. Maggie

I could see it, it isn't as likely as Glenn, but it could happen.

3. Carl

Wishful thinking.

Final Score: 3/5

50 Shades of James Franco (and other news)

Don't let the title mislead you, this isn't about James Franco taking on the plagued role of Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. I'm going to try and do a segment once a week about all of the biggest news of the week and a preview of what's to come.

Let's get started with the big news: Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy) dropped out of the "coveted" (which means it isn't coveted by any means whatsoever) 50 Shades role. Hunnam said that he had to drop out because of his crazy schedule with Sons of Anarchy. He honestly probably made a smart move, because for as much as this film is talked about, it's production is moving very slowly. REAL actors aren't interested in it, and by the time it drops next year, the momentum this series had will likely be waning. Maybe by 2014, audiences will be smart enough to realize a cash grab when they see it, like this movie.

Second order of business: James Franco's role as Alien in the ungodly terrible movie Spring Breakers is being campaigned for an Oscar nomination. Let's strip this down, shall we? First, Spring Breakers is laughably bad. It was the worst movie released this year. It was a joke that we, the audience, paid the ultimate price of. The directing was terrible, the acting was miserable, the plot (or lack thereof) was all over the place, and by the end of the movie you realize there was absolutely no reason for it to be made.

But, there was a silver lining: James Franco. Yes, the movie was one of, if not the worst, movie of 2013. But Franco was so amazing in it. Every time he was onscreen, you forgot about the movie and focused solely on the captivating performance this artist was putting in. His role as Alien, the wannabe gangster (aka RiFF RaFF), was one of the finest performances we'll see this year. If you don't believe me, just go back and watch it again.

While the role was wonderful, is it "Oscar wonderful"? I think Franco should 100% be CONSIDERED, but being nominated is a different story. He did churn out a crazy good performance, but the overall quality of the movie (in my opinion should always be factored into Oscar voting) was so bad, that it doesn't deserve a (used to be) prestigious award like the Oscar.

While we're at it, in my perfect world of Oscar considerations, I believe a strict guideline should be followed while voting, so that we can prevent another Colin Firth The King's Speech fiasco.

1. Was the movie good?

This is important because you don't want a bad movie to win awards. If Franco wins, or even gets nominated, then Spring Breakers will forever be tied to the Oscars. And that movie is the anti-Oscar. It was so bas.

2. Could anyone have played this part?

This is the MOST important question. Anyone could have played King George VI in The King's Speech. Anyone could have played Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire. And Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side...come on. Franco would win in this category, because I don't think anyone else could have pulled of Alien, except for maybe when Johnny Depp used to make good movies.

3. Did they steal every scene?

If you're going to win an Oscar, an award that says "you were better than your peers", then why would someone who didn't steal EVERY scene win it? (case in point: Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained, I thought it was undeserving but that's neither here nor there. Also case in point: Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds were both deserving of Oscars. Those two in that movie...man). Franco stole it in Spring Breakers, without him, that movie crashes and burns...miserably.

4. How dedicated were they to their role?

This is why Christian Bale won for The Fighter. When you drop a cool 50 lbs, or go gay, you're destined for that gold (aka Matthew McConaughey is going to win for Dallas Buyers Club). You'll always have people like Daniel Day-Lewis who are so weirdly dedicated to their craft that they win every time their nominated. Franco didn't have to do much to dedicate himself to the role, besides cornrows and fake tattoos. He probably could've done a lot more to be even more believable, but he never did anything drastic.

If we go by this criteria when voting for who wins the most prestigious award given to actors, then Ryan Gosling doesn't lose (or get snubbed) for Blue Valentine. No longer does a gay role automatically win (or get nominated). These awards should go to people who dedicated themselves to a role that became completely their own.

Now that I got that off my chest...let's look ahead to The Walking Dead. I'll have a review up after the premiere, but it's worth noting that Breaking Bad was so amazing that my interest in The Walking Dead is the lowest it's ever been. I wasn't crazy about how the third season ended, but it'll be interesting to see all the new character additions to this 4th season.

Aaron Paul: Movie Star or Jesse Pinkman?

With the excellent Breaking Bad over, the future has never been brighter for Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, the show's two leads. We all knew Cranston was a serviceable star (always works best as a supporting actor in movies), but what about Paul? Surely he can't be on another TV show, no, he's ready to conquer the big screen. And we welcome him with open arms, but there's a catch.

Can Aaron Paul be seen as more than Jesse Pinkman?

Paul's first project post-Breaking Bad is Need for Speed...a video game movie. Typically, video game movies do tremendously awful and have been known to be career killers. But to be honest, that movie looks absolutely terrific, even if he is playing Pinkman. That's a bad career move if he's wanting to shed the that attachment, but it seems that he isn't ready to let go of it either.

Paul is certainly a fine actor who couldn't have been more perfect on Breaking Bad. But he worked on that show because he looked like a high school dropout pothead. That act works as a supporting actor, but a leading actor in a huge Hollywood movie, he'll have a tougher time selling to us that he is Aaron Paul: Movie Star. He certainly doesn't look like a movie star, and we have an easier time accepting him in baggy clothes than normal clothes. So how does he leave Jesse behind?

He is an extremely likable guy, one we're all rooting for to succeed. The best way to do that is to take on a role as far from Pinkman as possible (aka not Need for Speed). Maybe an indie drama, which did wonders for Ryan Gosling's career and helped him shed The Notebook typecast he was destined for (see: Half Nelson, Blue Valentine) while also re-surging his career (be honest, did you hear from Ryan Gosling after The Notebook?). It'll be interesting to watch him try and play a role that doesn't require him to go to emotional extremes, the real challenge will be staying neutral.

At the moment, young Hollywood is trash. There's a handful of American actors that are really worth anything to us. Paul has luckily been blessed to look 10 years younger than his age (he's 34). So why not him? We love him as a person, he's proven his worth as an actor, and he already has a bevy of awards under his belt. Young Hollywood is annoying at the moment, and it's time for a change. Time for someone who isn't overly handsome, more of an average guy with average height, who looks just like us. Aaron Paul is the common man's voice.

Need for Speed looks great. It does. But are we going to buy into Paul? He's playing a role frighteningly similar to Pinkman (lovable crook loser). This may just be an "opportunity movie" (a movie that actors do to open up doors to something else), so don't expect an Oscar winning performance. But an Oscar for him isn't out of the question by any means. Just right now, it is.

The rest of the Breaking Bad cast is pretty much done for, with the exception of the hilarious Bob Odenkirk (Saul Goodman). Bryan Cranston will always have roles for him, he's so terrific, and even after the praise and the awards, he remains vastly underrated. All that's left is for Paul to prove himself. He has the best chance out of the rest of the cast of Breaking Bad. And we're rooting for him 100% of the way.