Lana Del Rey - Ultraviolence Review

Lana Del Rey.

Everyone by now should know that name. If you don't, she's a new kind of pop singer. A vintage, lonely, anti-feminist hipster caught up in the tropes of L.A. and finding love and acceptance through men. There's been a lot of talk about her image, which people perceive as fake, which is probably true for nearly every entertainer out there today, but as long as you release some dope songs, all is forgiven.

Lana dropped her debut Born To Die two years ago and it was perfection. I mean, most of the songs sounded the same, but they were so good that it didn't matter. Then she hit us with The Paradise Edition which kept that strong momentum going. She released 8 songs on Paradise and they were all pretty good and mostly better than what was on Born To Die. Needless to say, Lana is more than accepted in the hipster/vintage world.

Then after a year or so of hibernation, she comes back with "Young and Beautiful" from The Great Gatsby, which I fully believe should have been nominated for an Oscar. That song was just another credential Lana could add to her already extremely impressive arsenal. Then she had her best selling hit with that god awful techno-dance remix to "Summertime Sadness," which I think was a tragedy.

So that brings us to Ultraviolence, which was announced after that BULLSHIT of a video called Tropico. I was excited from the moment the title of this album dropped and I was even more excited whenever she started to release some of the songs. She dropped 4 total: "West Coast", "Ultraviolence", "Brooklyn Baby", and "Shades of Cool". Two of these songs were FLAMES. One was okay, and the other was about as good as hearing someone just claw a chalkboard.

Lana said that this was going to be a departure from Born To Die and that Tropico was the end of Born. So did this album live up to the hype? Is it better? Will she flop? Will she get the recognition she deserves? Lana is a unique talent, but I'm not exactly buying into her act, which I can say for 99% of musicians out today, and I'm probably one of her biggest supporters. So let's get into this.

Ultraviolence Review

1. Cruel World

So we start off the album with a song that sounds like the last 19 minutes of "The End" by The Doors. But then she starts singing about how she feels better now that her man is gone and she's gonna go out and live it up. You could honestly skip this song and live a fulfilling life. This is a weak opener compared to "Born To Die". Song is okay once, but more than that and you just have too much time on your hands.

2. Ultraviolence

F-L-A-M-E-S. Love this song more than I love my family, easily. I mean, I have no clue whatsoever what the song is about, something about a group she was in, but I don't care because this is honestly just a pure joy to listen to. I've listened to this like 932898434 times, but that's just an estimate. I have no clue who "Jim" is, but they say art is open to interpretation so I'm just going to pretend it's Jim Morrison. This is definitely getting repeated plays in the future.

3. Shades of Cool

This sounds like the beginning of every James Bond movie ever made. But after an almost unbearable slow start it picks up and becomes a beautiful songbird of a song. That's the problem with a lot of Lana Del Rey songs, you have to endure a heap of slow boringness to get to the hidden gems. Which I actually like because the payoff justifies the trip it took to get there. But yeah this song is cool, not gonna ever go out of my way to listen to it again unless it comes on shuffle and I'm physically unable to change the song.

4. Brooklyn Baby

God I honestly hate everything about this song. I tried like 4 times to make myself like this but it's just not happening. It's like tomatoes. A lot of people like it so you're like, "damn, maybe this is an acquired taste" and so you keep eating the tomatoes but it still sucks but you can't understand why because you love ketchup and you always check the bottles at restaurants to make sure the ketchup is full but if it isn't then you have to awkwardly go to another table and steal their ketchup. But yeah, fuck this song.

5. West Coast

Okay after listening to that dog fart of a song, Lana drops some blue flames on us. I absolutely love this song and I wish more songs on this album would sound like this because this is heavenly. It's a fusion of rap, pop, and vintage pop. It meshes up perfectly and I will continue listening to this song until my dying day. I'm a huge fan of the last minute that sounds like West Coast 90s rap. This may actually the best song on Ultraviolence.

6. Sad Girl

This song starts off sounding like Bruce Lee about to fight Kareem Abdul Jabbar in Game of Death. I guess this is supposed to about Lana's conflicting feelings of being a mistress. This isn't that great of a song. It's just kind of middle of the road to me. The chorus is good stuff but everything else about the song is mostly forgettable. But I feel like this track will end up being a grower the more I listen to it. It's going on my iPhone, but it may end up getting deleted one day to make room for better music.

7. Pretty When You Cry

MELANCHOLY!!!! Man what has happened in Lana's life that she has no happiness in her soul? Like I thought Born To Die was a sad album but this shit is not even enjoyable to listen to at the moment. I feel like this is targeting a certain sad girl demographic.

8. Money Power Glory

Wooo! We're finally back in enjoyable territory. I'm really big on this song because it doesn't make me want to kill myself in front of my ex. The chorus is really well done even if the verses in between don't exactly add anything of significance to the song. To be 100, this song might not even be good, but I've gone through some bullshit to get here and by god I'm kicking my feet up and relaxing to this smooth song that kinda becomes trash in the last minute and a half. But yeah, I fux with this track heavy, maybe. I don't know. No, I do. I do. I love it.

9. Fucked My Way To The Top

I'm gonna let the feminists duke this one out with each other. But this song is a shot at a singer (IDK who, but I'm gonna guess it's someone mega famous). Actually this song is kinda hard. She also addresses people like me who don't think she's authentic (I don't at all) and sarcastically says she fucked her way to get here (might be true though). Her first album, aka Lizzy Grant was a wildly different sound from the Lana Del Rey you hear today, so this song does have a bit of irony when it comes to her authenticity. I guess Lana reads Youtube comments after all. But yeah, I'm really digging this song. Even if she kinda bites Adele's style sometimes. IRONY!!!

10. Old Money 

Gonna pretend this is a Great Gatsby reference. But I'm not exactly wanting to ever listen to this song again. It's okay but you really gotta be in a "sit hunched over in the bathtub" kind of mood to really enjoy this track. It's a personal song to her, but it's ass, to me. But I can tell this will end up being a grower.

11. The Other Woman 

This is a cover of a Nina Simone song and a really personal song to Lana, so I'm not going to say much about this because I understand wanting to pay tribute to something you care so deeply about. I mean, I won't ever listen to it again in my lifetime, but Lana's voice is nice at the end though.

12. Black Beauty

DAWG. Lana Del Rey really needs to find some independence in her life because she is too got damn reliable on guys to make her happy in her songs. I mean, the song itself is gorgeous, but she kinda acts like a clingy girlfriend and there is nothing worse to a guy than a clingy girlfriend. BET. Other than that, this is a smooth song to throw on, but you might have to be in the right mood. The beat kinda fools you into thinking this is an empowering song but it's more of a desperation song, which is what Lana Del Rey has become known for, although she's never made it as obvious as she does on this track. It's kind of an annoyance, to be honest.

13. Guns and Roses

This song is a tad lazy, actually it's obviously lazy. The beat and verses are shockingly the things that make this song worth the listen. It's like Lana can't find a happy medium with her music. You're either getting trash verses and a fantastic chorus, and vice versa. Or you just get a hot dumpster fire of a song. To me, this is what keeps Lana from reaching greatness. This is an extremely simple song that doesn't get saved from the almighty SKIP button.

14. Florida Kilos

Woo this song isn't all that great but it's different from the rest of this album and I welcome that with arrrrrms wiiiide oooopen. And it was co-written with Harmony Korine, the director of that trash ass movie Spring Breakers. So it's not surprising that this song sucks too. It's catchy as all hell though so that'll keep you low IQ having ass radio listeners happy. Song sounds like the theme song to a Pepsi commercial filmed at the beach with colorful animations coming out of the bottle whenever someone opens it.

Bonus Tracks:

Didn't come with my illegally downloaded copy.

Welp. If you can't read between the lines or you don't possess much critical thinking skills, I think this album is kinda ass. Which is frustrating because I felt like Lana released all her best material right out of the gate and the rest of the album had trouble living up to the hype. The songs that are good are honestly great, but the songs that aren't in that tier are really tough to listen to and not really worth your time. This album may end up being a grower, but as of right now, this isn't very good. A lot of people co-sign new music because it's new, but this album was too moody and repetitive (which has been a big problem for Lana throughout her career thus far) to get an official co-sign from me. Still gonna buy it though cause I love Lana more than pizza, but I might wait 'till it goes on sale, ya dig?

One thing I was really big on about this album was the production. I love that Lana is doing something completely different from pop stars today, and that gets a lot of points with me, as a consumer. She mostly used a seven piece band on this album, which is really great because these radio hits today all sound the same and it was nice not to have to hear any trace of dubstep on this. Lana has a great voice and she expertly puts you in a west coast 60s mood when you listen to her. She also sounds a lot more mature on this album, which is a welcome change from the Lolita-esque style she used on most of Born.

The high points on this album come when she isn't making a moody song, and the low points are everything else, which is disappointing. She has a lot of potential still, and it shows on this album with some truly great songs that are even better than some of the cuts on Born. But this shit gets dragged down by too many sad songs that don't make this an enjoyable listen. I know she has made a career out of being a depressed 60s artist looking for love, but I can't see myself listening to something this heavy front to back. This might be something for someone else, but for me, personally, NAH.

But, yo, go buy this album, support your artists. I did.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ultraviolence-deluxe/id880747579

Final Score:

2.5/5

An Oral History About Adam Sandler and Where It All Went Wrong

In this day and age, it is very rare for a year to pass us by without the release of an Adam Sandler movie. While 9 times outta 10 it's usually some hot garbage, there once was a time when everyone and their mother's had to check out what the ex-funny man had to offer. Many college students and 20-something year olds are riddled with fond childhood memories of watching Adam Sandler. Which is why we want to believe he's still funny, cause we've grown up watching him.

Sandler's new Rumpke dumpster of a movie, Blended, dropped last week (or something like that) and along with it came the same critics saying the exact same things they have been saying about Sandler since he was birthed from his mom's womb: he sucks. While that might be mostly true, it's unfair to go into his movies ready to write him off. I personally like to give him a shot every time, and I enjoy most of his movies, but this new flick looks like purebred ass cheeks, so I'm probably gonna wait until I can watch it somewhere for free 99.

Now that he has blessed us with a steaming pile of horse ass, it's time to analyze just where the usually bankable Adam Sandler went wrong. When did the decline happen? When did Adam Sandler stop being funny? How did we go from gems like Billy Madison to Jack and Jill? I now present to you: An Oral History of Adam Sandler and Where It All Went Wrong.

Part 1: The Can't Miss Kid

It really all began in 1995, with the release of Billy Madison, the tell of a manchild who, due to unforeseen circumstances, has to repeat school!!! Hilarious!! It actually ended up setting off Sandler's career and launched a tirade of quotes that are still used today. Basically we'll call that Sandler's rookie year, which got off to a hot start and made him into a fan favorite.

So year 2 of a promising career dawns upon Sandler, and that brings us his greatest achievement: Happy Gilmore. This was basically Sandler averaging a double double, nabbing MVP honors, and dropping one of the best statistical seasons ever seen. With Gilmore, Sandler pretty much dragged his team to the playoffs and instantly became the most wanted star in Hollywood. The future was bright for Adam Sandler in 1996, he was on the path to greatness. Now the question remained: Will he continue his success or will he start an early decline, before hitting his prime?

Sandler answered that question with The Wedding Singer, a movie I personally thought was ass but earned rave reviews and gave Sandler his Scottie Pippen in the form of Drew Barrymore. The movie was a hit and became a box office smash, cementing Adam Sandler as the next best thing in Hollywood. He was destined to have a huge career and this was the beginning of his prime, the prime that made people realize his first two movies were not a fluke.

Sandler followed Singer up with The Waterboy, another smashing hit that had audiences laughing and willing to spend all their hard earned money to see Adam Sandler stutter and play football. It was a perfect formula and ended up becoming one of his best movies, as well as my personal favorite. Sandler could do no wrong from this point on. All we had to do as an audience was sit back and enjoy the show.

What came next for Sandler was a more mature movie, Big Daddy, which was when Sandler became a veteran, as opposed to the young hotshot with all the potential. Again, this was another box office hit and further perpetuated the idea that this guy has an amazingly bright future in Hollywood. Everything he touched turned to gold and he was consistently funny. I'm not sure if any comedic actor has had a stronger run in Hollywood than Sandler did from 1995-2000.

Part 2: The Veteran

Adam Sandler's first hiccup came in 2000 by way of Little Nicky. While most people consider that movie "a bag of shit", I actually liked it. And Sandler had so much respect by this point in his career, that even Quentin Tarantino agreed to be in the film. Little Nicky was kind of like Shaq when he played for the lakers and showed up overweight to training camp. Sandler just had to do like O'Neal and play himself into shape.

That's where Punch Drunk Love comes in. This was Sandler returning to form and winning over audiences again with his first venture into dramatic acting. He was nominated for a Golden Globe and a bevy of other awards and Sandler was once again in good standing with audiences across the country. Finally, he was done with being an overgrown kid and was now heading into the veteran stage of his career where he could play likable every-men.

Sandler made a good run of mediocre movies that were far different and less hilarious than he was in the 90s, from 2002-2007. The first dip in quality came in the form of Mr. Deeds. This was the first time Sandler had a real let down of a movie. It still made a bunch of money, and people like it for nostalgic reasons, but this was the beginning of asstastic movies coming from the Happy Madison camp.

After the mediocre Deeds, Sandler came out with Anger Management. Another mediocre movie, but this time made even more average with the presence of Jack Nicholson! The movie was okay, not good or bad, just okay. Which is the way you can describe this period of Adam Sandler movies. Anger Management was similar to Mr. Deeds, in that you could take it or leave it as an audience member and your life would never be any different. Another way to describe this era is the "I'll wait until it comes out on DVD" era.

So at this point In Sandler's career, a lot of people have accepted that he isn't going to come out with comedic classics anymore. He's more or less making fun movies that you watch but aren't timeless quotables. Which is okay, because the quality of the films is still pretty decent. From 50 First Dates to the popular The Longest Yard and the surprisingly depressing Click, Adam Sandler was still bankable and worthy of your money for a ticket or a rental (or torrent). He wasn't making shitty movies, he was making "okay" movies.

He tried to stretch his range again by starring in the fantastic Reign Over Me, where he played a widower with severe depression. Although he never won anything for that role, Sandler proved he was more than capable of being a dramatic actor that could hold his own against veterans like Don Cheadle, even out acting him throughout the whole movie, although that is the way the film was structured. was Adam Sandler robbed of accolades for that performance? Yeah. But it at least showed he was hungry and striving to be better.

Part 3: The Decline

2007. The year of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the beginning of the end for Mr. Sandler. Personally, I am a fan of Chuck and Larry, but this was the first time (not counting 8 Crazy Nights) that Sandler had been scathed for one of his movies by critics. He'd always managed to average terrible Rotten Tomato scores, but at 14% this was his lowest non-animated film that he was the star of.

Next came the dreadful You Don't Mess With the Zohan. While it had a few laughs here and there, it was ultimately scoring a low critics and audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. While RT isn't a perfect indicator in the quality of a film, it's worth noting that this began a string of Sandler films that were deemed "trash".

After the abysmal and forgettable Zohan, Sandler came out with Bedtime Stories, a kids movie. And a bad one at that. This was the point where everyone kinda looked at each other and said, "hmm, maybe Adam Sandler isn't as funny as we thought." By this point in his career, Adam Sandler hadn't really dropped a movie that could hold its own when compared to his earlier work, this was the work of someone who didn't have to be innovative anymore, the work of a man who knew he was famous. That's when most stars begin to falter, whenever they realize their own fame and stop trying. Which was beginning to become a trend for Sandler.

After 3 straight stinkers, the colossally disappointing Funny People arrived in theaters to good reviews. Personally, I thought this movie was a waste of a crazy talented cast, but it really showed how self aware Adam Sandler was of what his product was becoming. Churning out mediocre comedies for 8 years should have been a wake up call to Sandler, and everyone thought with Funny People that he would realize that he needs to get back to his roots and put more effort in his films, but alas, this was a flash in the pan moment. A throwback moment, like when Shaq would drop the occasional double double late in his career and make people remember what a force he used to be. At this point in his career, Sandler became an all star player who is cashing checks in and coasting on autopilot, with a big game here and there.

After people proclaimed that Sandler was back, it was announced he was doing a film with a bunch of famous comic actors, and the expectations became enormous. Now, I'm a fan of Grown Ups, but that movie was raked over the coals by critics and was considered, at the time, a low point of Adam Sandler's film career. The point where people realized he wasn't funny. He assembled a dream team and kinda really blew it. Again, I liked it, but the general consensus was that it was terrible.

After that debacle came Just Go With It, which was a good movie, but one we've seen from Adam Sandler multiple times. There was nothing new, the movie wasn't all that funny, and it became lost in the "forgettable Adam Sandler movies" pile. But as usual, it made a ton of money and reinforced the sentiment that Adam Sandler was still a bankable movie star.

Part 4: The End of An Era

Jack and Jill. Literally one of the worst movies ever made. The movie that is worse than any bad movie you could ever think of. The movie that legit insulted the audience and laughed at them for spending their valuable time watching. This is the Empire Strikes Back of bad movies and the official point in time where everyone realized Adam Sandler isn't funny. By this point, people stopped expecting his movies to be any good.

In order to get back to his roots, Sandler tried to drop a raunchy movie that was supposed to be edgy and hilarious. That's how we ended up with That's My Boy. Which made everyone sad to watch because this was a once great comic trying to be controversial but just ended up being embarrassing. And if you ever watch it, you can tell everyone involved with this movie thought it was going to be a massive hit and propel Sandler back into audience acceptance. But unfortunately it was just another shitty movie masquerading itself as a "change of pace" from what we're used to with the standard yearly Adam Sandler movie.

After that came Grown Ups 2. I liked the movie but I am definitely in the minority on that. It was an okay movie, but it was literally the same jokes we've heard a million times and not really all that funny of a movie. At this point, you knew what to expect from an Adam Sandler movie and it became your fault for paying to watch one. It had been 18 years since Billy Madison and the comic's fall from grace had been a tough one to watch, especially when you consider how promising of a career he was destined to have.

Part 5: Redemption 

Yes, Blended happened. It's a terrible movie and an obvious cash grab. It's not making all that much money and expectations were horribly low. Nobody expects an Adam Sandler movie to be funny anymore and it's frustrating to see how little he cares. We're basically funding his vacations/movies. So what is next for Adam Sandler? Surely he realizes how bad he's been since 2007, possibly earlier depending on who you ask, right?

He currently has 3 movies in development. The first is The Cobbler, which nobody knows anything about. Pixels, an animated movie directed by Chris Columbus. And Men, Women, and Children. Which is the one that should make your ears perk up. An indie film that might require Sandler to show some range/emotion. An indie movie. A great director. Adam Sandler. This is happening and could be the exact cure on the road to redemption for Sandler. A chance to show that he is more than just an unfunny comic actor. I'm personally excited for Men, Women, and Children. The potential is there. This is going to be different from Funny People...I hope.